Hillbilly Honeymoon

Been together four years and had five kids
So we did the right thing and finally got hitched
We tracked down the preacher after altar call
And proceeded to the VFW Hall

When he said, Cledus T. did you take Debra Liz
I stuttered, I do, knowin' I done did
The wedding cake was, 'Moon Pie', stacked three tiers
And the punch bowl flowed with Falstaff Beer

Now that's about as swanky as this town gets
For they throw rice, heck, they threw grits
No stretch limousine, just a full sized van
But at least we was headed for the promised land

On our hillbilly honeymoon
No champagne Caviar or Cordon Bleu
A can of Vienna Sausage and a Mountain Dew
And soda pop too
On our hillbilly honeymoon

Spent all our money on pay per view
Didn't need Playboy to get in the mood
Just a roller derby wrestlin' and a Rambo II
And III and IV, I was up in the room
On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well, after a while things simmered down
So we got dressed up for a night on the town
There ain't nothing too good for my sweetheart
Took a romantic stroll through the Super WalMart
We got back wanting some fine cuisine
We bought out the whole dern vending machine

On our hillbilly honeymoon
No dainty little plates of finger foods
Just M&M's Snickers and tomato juice
And Cheez Wiz too
On our hillbilly honeymoon

I spent half our savings on the hardware aisle
She spent the rest on the latest styles
A thong underwear that drove me wild
Back in the room, I tried them on too
On our hillbilly honeymoon

Well, it's been three years, got four more young'uns
Ain't a lot of time for much kissin' and a huggin'
For the last eight weeks I've slept on the couch
Think it's about time we renewed our vows

And took another hillbilly honeymoon
No [Incomprehensible] egg nog, just barbecue
And a box of wine will be nice down too
Won't need a corkscrew, yeah
On our hillbilly honeymoon

We can raid little Tommy's piggy bank
Scrape up a hundred dollars worth in change
Just enough for a night at the bowling lanes
And some new perfume, cheap motel room
On our hillbilly honeymoon

[Incomprehensible]