Psychic to the Stars

I was starin' a hole through CMT
Watchin' everybody else who'd been waitin' for me
I thought by now I'd been a household name
After all I had if 'Shania was mine'
And though 'Bigger than the Beatles' got played all the time
Them funny videos why there's my claim to fame

Now all of a sudden there's a slew of comedians
Foxworthy, Bill Engvall and back comes Ray Stevens
Folks right there's some real competition
I started getting a little bit paranoid
Heck if this keeps up I'll be unemployed
Then out of the blue it came to me in a vision

Now I'm the psychic to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I'm always over-booked
Lord, my phone rings off the hook
I'm the psychic to the stars

I told Tim and Faith, they ought to tie the knot
Why you think Deana Carter's so hot
Boy, I'd shave my legs for a sip of that strawberry wine
When Mindy McCready's on my caller ID
I'd take her call immediately
Ten thousand angels couldn't get me off of that line

Garth Brooks called dang near a hundred times
But I was too busy consultin' Leann Rimes
Trying to predict the number of albums she sold last night
I had Brooks & Dunn on a conference call
They said, "Cledus would you look into your crystal ball"
I said, "I'd love two boys but I got Tanya Tucker on hold
I gotta go"

I'm the psychic to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I'm always over-booked
And Lord, my phone rings off the hook
I'm the psychic to the stars

Now I got a new career and I charge a hefty fee
Why it worked for Dionne Warwick
Now it works for Cledus T.
Call me

I'm the psychic to the stars
They call me up from wherever they are
I've got a clair-a-voyant sense
For a feller that's so dense
I'm the psychic to the stars
Just call the psychic to the stars