Indian In-Laws

They're my Indian in-laws
Came to visit me and my squaw
Been here for a month y'all
I'm 'bout to lose my mind

I'm sick and tired of her paw-paw
Eatin' all of my bear claws
While he's watchin' ol' hee-haws
And drinkin' all my wine

I'm gonna scalp her maw-maw
Making long distance phone calls
To her friends in Arkansas
Talkin' on my dime

They're my Indian in-laws
They're drivin' me up the dang wall
Using all of my dental floss
And leave the room smelling bad

They moved into my wigwam
God Almighty, they're big bums
They order filet mignons
And stick me with the tab

They're hanging 'round my teepee
Can't wear my Buffalo briefs
Ain't had me no whoopee
Since week for last

They're my Indian in-laws
Hooked on Ex-Lax and Geritol
Have to run 'em to the shopping mall
Four times a day

Every single day
Seven days a week
My nerves are about shot
They are worryin' me to death

Sittin' there clipping toenails
Chain-smoking them Pell Mells
Wish they'd get them a motel
But they're too cheap to pay

Pretty soon if they don't leave
I'll take a pipe and pop his knee
Like Tanya did Nancy
They're skating on thin ice

I'll take my bow and arrow
Pretend I'm shootin' at a sparrow
I might miss and uhh oh
Hit her maw-maw's behind

They're my Indian in-laws
Might be kin to Tim McGraw
But they came to me, naw
Might have to leave my wife

'Cause my Indian in-laws
Came to visit me and my squaw
Been here for a month y'all
I'm about to lose my mind

Oh, one little, two little, three little Indians
Four little, five little, six little Indians
Seven little, eight little, nine little Indians
Ten little Indian in-laws

Oh no! Here comes her brother and her other brother
And then there's her sister brought her aunt Essie with her
And she's got two kids and they brought two friends
The whole tribes are comin', couldn't they have just made a reservation