Stephon The Alternative Lifestyle Reindeer

Rumors emanating from the North to all the Poles
Outsiders speculating
Who's designing Santa's clothes
He's the newest face in Christmas

And soon the world will know
That Rudolph's nose
Is not the only reindeer appendage that glows

Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer
Heaven help Santa
Should he call him queer?

He's standing tall
Against the wall
Of prejudice and fear
He's Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer

Well, he came out of the forest
And that's why he's on the news
And ever since that legislation's changed
Now they can't make poor Stephon
Join in all those stupid stupid reindeer games

Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer
Heaven help Santa
Should he call him queer?

Prancer up in front of him
He's got Blitzen to the rear
He's Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer

He's embarrassed by his antlers
He retains progesterone
And in his mind he looks like Doris Day
And if the health plan springs for surgery
Some day, you know, he really may

Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer
Heaven help Santa
Should he call him queer?

He's standing tall
Against the wall
Of prejudice and fear
He's Stephon, the alternative lifestyle reindeer

Affirmative reaction
The world is on its ear
Hey that speech that Jesse Jackson made
Brought Rush Limbaugh to tears

And he'll go down in history
For months or even years
He's Stephon
(Stephon)
The alternative lifestyle reindeer