Yo Mama So

Yo mama's so cuddly that puppies watch Youtube videos of her.
Yo mama's so bold she's featured on the toolbar of Microsoft Word.

Yo mama's so wise, Yoda often texts her for advice.
Yo mama's so nice, I gotta say it twice. ...She's NICE (nice).

Yo mama's so pleasant that instead of sweating,
her body emits a continuous gentle breeze.
Yo mama's so precious, that Gollum was all like "What ring?" (Gollum!)

Yo mama's so adaptable that Darwin wrote a book about her
entitled "The Origin of the Denises."
Your mom's name is Denise, right?
No it's Trudy but she's so accommodating she'll probably answer to it.

Yo mama's so musical that I confuse Yo Mama with Yo Yo Ma
Yo mama's so chill that she addresses me as "brah"

Yo mama's so full of joy and cheer,
she put the detergent industry out of business.
Yo mama's so dazzling that your dad
glues her to the outside of your house at Christmas.

Yo mama's so environmentally conscious
that she can read the thoughts of trees.
Yo mama's so creative,
MacGyver brings her things and he's like "What can I do with these?"

Yo mama's so brave that if a saw her fighting a bear,
I would pray for the bear.
Yo mama's so compassionate that she knits sweaters
for homeless kittens made out of her own hair.

Yo mama's so energetic that she
equals mass times the speed of light to the second power
Yo mama's so clean that she makes
the soap feel dirty when she's takin' a shower.

Yo mama's so magnetic that she's even got pull with Magneto.
Yo mama's so enjoyable she like a hug
wrapped in laughter wrapped in a magic show
wrapped in a delicious chicken burrito.

Yo mama's so indescribably awesome that...
How indescribably awesome is she?
I'm having a hard time describing her.

Yo mama's so intelligent that she
makes me feel inferior when I don't use words good.
Yo mama's so crafty that she built
a fully functional smartphone out of glitter and balsa wood.

Yo mama's so outgoing that she is, at this very moment, in space.
Yo mama's so careful she keeps her iPhone case in an iPhone case case.

Yo mama's so unpredictable that psychics refuse to give her a reading.
Yo mama's so persuasive that she
convinced a cop that pulled her over that he was speeding.

Yo mama's so stable that horses are like, "Yo, can we stay with you?"
Yo mama's so resilient every morning she sprinkles
her cereal with bird flu.

Yo mama's so loving that I wish she was my mama!