Epic Rap Battle: Nerd Vs. Geek

(Spoken)
(Geek)
What do you think you're doing nerd?
(Nerd)
Did you just call me a nerd, geek?
(Geek)
Yeah, nerd.

(Nerd)
Yes I am a nerd,
Bookworm, I'm studious.
From my cerebral cortex to my gluteus.
Back in kindergarten I aced my college entrance exam.
Now, I'm no rocket scientist.
Oh wait, I am.
When I pour my Alpha-bits, I get nothing my straight A's.
My retainer and headgear connect to a back brace.
I've got a pocket-protector protector protector.
I broke my glasses on purpose, so I could tape em together.
Run back to Reddit, and type stuff no one will see.
You're a geek that means you're just a hipster wannabe.

(Geek)
That's right I'm a geek,
I've got brains and a personality.
I wear my glasses sincerely,
And my t-shirt ironically.
There are some things you can't learn in a class,
Or else I'd sign you up for 'Intro to How not to Be a Social Outcast'.
You're just so early 2013,
I was the cool form of uncool before uncool became a thing.
I use an app to pair pork with the perfect Bordeaux,
Too bad there's no app to neutralize your B.O.
While you're lost in Second Life letting your fingernails grow long,
I'll be syncing up my iPhone, tablet, TV and your mom.

(Nerd)
Sure grooming's not my thing,
But I don't care.
I look so good in chain mail that it's not Renaissance Faire.

(Geek)
Doesn't LARP stand for Loser And Reject Party?
I'd rather cosplay with hotties than play fake army.
I tried Dungeons and Dragons once,
And I died, of boredom.
But I'll still kick your Assassin's Creed post-mortem.
Mario party's the only one you're getting invited to.
Your life is like Skyrim,
An endless quest of solitude.

(Nerd)
Oooh you beat Angry Birds,
You're not a gamer cause you battle your friends with words.
You click on cute icons, I execute commands.
Do you really need a 'Genius' to teach you garage band?

(Geek)
I landed the first ROFLCOPTER,
And took in orphans when I was 12,
Cause I'm an early adopter.
I can wear Google Glass without looking like a dweeb.
Ok, maybe not
But I can Yelp us some good pho to eat.

(Nerd)
You need 16 gigs of RAM
To watch a Steve Jobs Doc?
I keep an actual ram in my PC, his name is Spock.

(Geek)
I'm a new console
Your face is birth control
I troll Brony sites you look like an actual troll

(Nerd)
I'm fluent in C++
[std:cout "You just suck! n";]
Can your iPhone autocorrect your dumb haircut?

(Geek)
Hold on a second,
Let me tweet this infographic I made,
That illustrates the fact you'll never get to procreate!

(Nerd)
I just haven't met a woman
Of a high enough caliber.
The only dates you have
Are on your go-go-google calendar.

(Geek)
You're losing this battle,
Your foam sword won't help.
In the future you'll randomly access this memory
And crap yourself.

(Nerd)
Did I mention I built a dancing robot?

(Robot)
No one gives a Shatner about your skinny jeans,
Do you even know what URL means?

(Geek)
You don't know what you're Tolkien about
soo-no-lo-la-leetrid oo-goh dee-ah-troh we-ah-nella trah-le-hama meh tho ohhc

(Both)
You know,
You are a classic example of the inverse ratio
Between the size of the mouth and the size of the brain.