Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame

[Spoken]
Here in South Carolina, we do things different
When it comes to fireworks, we don't hire professionals
We are professionals
We got what you call Freelance Firework Shows
This song is a tribute to an elite set of men
who exercise their inalienable right to shoot off fireworks

Bobby taught us by example
not to look down a roman candle
when you light it
He lost his right eye
but you know, he's a better looking guy
without it

And that jumbo bottle rocket
that got lit in his pocket
would've flew if it were'nt for his belt loop
We were listening to Elvis
when it shattered his pelvis
But it was cool, 'cause it blew
right at the end of Don't be Cruel

This song is for all our pyrotechnical heroes
What they lacked in discretion,
they made in combustion
The ones who lit the fuse
and wound up dead, injured or lame
We salute you
The Fallen Founding Fathers of the Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame

Remember when Jed
filled his pickup truck bed
full of fireworks for a big time that night?
One cigarette out his window
made for one historical light show
and to me, a poetic way to die

But the best has got to be
Bill's ingenuity
with a man sized rocket,
duct tape and a lawn chair
Well, he did good, I reckon
He rode a full eight seconds
without spilling one drop of his beer

This song is for all our pyrotechnical heroes,
risking mutilation, all for detonation
They ignited the fire storm,
now we fan the flame
And we salute you
The Fallen Founding Fathers of the Freelance Fireworks Hall of Fame