The Walmart Song

Uno, dos, tres, four

Where else can you acquire
A rotation of your tire
While your girlfriends tries on
Cheap polka-dotted bikinis

And waiting's never been greater
You'll watch the DVD of Gladiator
And see Russell Crowe 8614 dudes
On 17 different TV's all at once

Are you not entertained
Are you not entertained
Is this not why you're here
That's a line from Gladiator

And here my friend Theodore
Who greets me as I walk through the automatic door
With a comb-over like a bird's nest
I know of no one who looks better in a blue vest

He hands me my cart and I'm on my way
To get a five gallon jug of grape Gatorade
Don't play a hate
If pharmaceuticals gotta get beautiful
I pick up a little tool for pushing back my cuticles
I'm dutiful to continue to press on
To the clothes section to try some mess on
A suggestion from the loud speaker
Says there's a sale on them Velcro sneakers

Walmart, Walmart
We love it, love it, love it
Walmart, Walmart
We love it, love it, love it

Roll back those prices, roll back the doors
Where else can you find a gold chain and s'mores
In one trip, that's it, it's Walmart

Roll back those prices, I'll roll up my sleeves
Where else can I get spark plugs and cheese
At a decent price, nowhere else but Walmart

Thank you, wal, wal, mart