My Favorite Pillow

Do
Do you remember back in middle school
When my trunks fell down
At the pool
Everyone laughed
Eccept for you
You just let me hold you
In my bedroom

Or freshman year when
Julie McKnight
Dumped me because of my overbite
I cried all night
All over you
You didn't seem to mind
My tears or my drool

I could always hold you tight
(My favorite pillow)
So soft, so cool on your other side
(My favorite pillow)

In my eyes
You've been nothing but classy
But everybody's saying
You're nasty
Full of fungus,
It can't be true
Laden with bacteria
No, not you

But the thing
That really did me in;
I learned your full of dust mite excrements
And those dead skin cells
May be mine
But knowing what's in you,
I can't sleep at night

We've been through both thick and thin
(Because you're a pillow)
It's hard to say this is the end
(My favorite pillow)
It's not me, it's definitely you
(I'll get a new pillow)
You're a body fluid sponge,
And we're through
(I'm getting a new you)