The Heart Of A Frog

(spoken)

Kermit: Hi-oh, this is Kermit The Frog here and I'm in a doctor's office, where I'm here to get a medical checkup. That's why I'm wearing this strange, kind of garment thing. (the doctor walks in the door behind Kermit and he looks rather froglike, I must say)

Doctor: Oh, hi, Kermit.

Kermit: Hi, Doc.

Doctor: Now let's get started.

Kermit: Okay.

Doctor: Okay? First of all, we're going to use this stethoscope here to listen to your heart.

Kermit: Ooooo.

Doctor: Yup. (places stethoscope on Kermit's chest) Here we go. (we now hear the loud beating of his heart) Take a deep breath. (Kermit does) Okay, breathe out. (He does) Ahhhh.

Kermit: What's it sound like?

Doctor: Oh, groovy!

Kermit: Groovy?!

Doctor: Perfect, beautiful! I mean, Kermit, the sound of your heart is music to my ears.

(right on cue, the music starts, the beat sounding like a heart. As the doc starts to sing, two frog-like nurses pop up from behind the table to Kermit's right and Kermit's left foot starts tapping in the air)

(sung)

Doctor and Nurses: Oh, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog
Yeah, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog

Nurses: (as doc sticks stethoscope on Kermit's chest again)
It goes (thump-thump, thump-thump)
It goes (thump-thump, thump-thump)

Doctor: So if you hear (turns to look at clock)
(tick tock, tick tock)
That's a clock tick-tocking
If you hear (knocks heard on door, a nurse opens it)
That is someone knocking (a puppy dog walks in the open door)
If you hear
(bark-bark, bark-bark-bark)
That's a barking dog
But (stethoscope against Kermit's chest)
(thump-thump, thump-thump)
Is the heart of a frog

Doctor and Nurses: Oh, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog
Yeah, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog

Doctor: Now if you hear
(crunch, crunch, crunch)
(we see a nurse munching on a carrot)
That's the sound of chewing
If you hear
(mooooooo)
(cow walks in next to chewing nurse)
That's a cow a'mooing
(cow tries to munch carrot)
If you hear
(bark-bark, bark, bark)
(the dog comes in on the nurse's other side)
That's a barking dog
(the nurse spins around as both animals try to grab the carrot)
But
(thump-thump, thump-thump)
Is the heart of a frog

All: Oh, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog
Yeah, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog

(thump-thump, thump-thump)

Nurses: It goes (thump-thump, thump-thump)
It goes (thump-thump, thump-thump)

Doctor: So if you hear
(tweet-tweet, tweet-tweet)
(a bird flies over their heads)
That's a birdie chirping
If you hear
(braaack)
(nurse walks in with baby frog wrapped in a blankie)
That's a baby burping
(braaaack)
If you hear
(bark-bark, bark, bark)
That's a barking dog
But
(thump-thump, thump-thump)
Is the heart of a frog

All: Oh, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog
Yeah, baby, baby, listen to the heart of a frog

(spoken)

Doctor: Very good, thank you, thank you one and all. Thank you. Thank you, cow.
(the animals and nurses leave the room)
Okay, Kermit, we've checked your heart, now let's check your ribbet. Say, "ribbet"

Kermit: Ribbet, ribbet.

Doctor: Very good, now, we'll check your hops, so hop off here ... (Kermit scoots over the back of the table, legs flying in the air for a minute, lands standing up) ... very good, now hop for me.

Kermit: (hopping) Hop.

Doctor: Again.

Kermit: Hop.

Doctor: Again.

Kermit: Hop.

Doctor: Again. (fades out as Kermit continues hopping)