Readers Of The Open Range

Spoken:
Vern: Howdy, my name's Vern, this here's my gang (nods to man on one side, woman on the other). We're special sort of cow-pokes and we'd like to tell ya a little bit about ourselves.

Sung:
Vern: We travel all around the west
Just looking for a chance
To satisfy our passion
For adventure and romance
We do the things that cowboys do
Like fussin' with our herds
But what we really love the most is
Reading words

All: We're readers, readers
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers

Vern: Readers of the open range

Spoken:
Vern: Hey look boys, what's that sign say thare?

Other Male: Well, I can read that, it says, "Gopher Junction" (note: the sign actually says "Gopher Jct.", not the best idea for teaching kids how to read, IMHO)

Female: Yeah, and "Dodge City".

Men: Yeeha!

Sung:
Vern: We read the signs along the road
We fill the wordless gaps
Read labels in our cowboy hats
And cowboy boots and chaps
We do the things that cowboys do
Like fussin' with our herds
But what we really love the most is
Reading words

All: We're readers, readers
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers

Vern: Readers of the open range

Spoken:
Vern: I see ya got your Acme cowboy boots on.

Other Male: Yup, and I'm wearing my International League of Garment Workers shirt, ahhh-heee!

Sung:
Vern: Sometimes we read right into town
To get some extra licks
We look around for words to read
That's how we get our kicks
We see them up above the stores
Along the dusty street
But, riding through to read the town is

Other Male: Real excitin'

Female: Goshdarn nation

All: Really treat
We're readers, readers
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers

Vern: Readers of the open range

All: We're readers, readers
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers

Vern: Readers of the open range

Spoken:
Vern: Oh, lookey there, there's Dalton Gazette
Female: Oh yeah, and the dentist

Other Male: Oh, look up yonder, it's the seed store
Oh and look, Jake's and Harry the blacksmith

Vern: Sasparilly
Well boys, I'd love to stay and read some more, but I think we better head for home.

Other Male: Yep.

Vern: We're bound to find a few more signs on the way.

Sung (as they ride into the sunset):
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers
Readers of the open range
We're readers, readers
Yoddle-a-e-hoo!