The Girlie Had a Mustache

(Get down)

I was cruisin down the avenue early one Friday
When I saw what I thought was a lady walkin my way
I turned my back to mama can I blast
And I said hmm excuse me and she walked past
She was about five foot six or maybe six and a half
With a body like a goddess, man, this girl was bad!
Tight leather pants that fit like a drum
And two big - yeah well, she had some
Anyway from behind she was fine
But when she turned around, her mustache was bigger than mine
At first I laughed, cause yo, to me that was funny
But the laughter ceased when she said hey honey
At first I was confused, I was somewhat spell-bound
My mouth wide open and my chin on the ground
And then it hit me, like a bolt from the sky
I thought: hold up - wait - this girl is a guy
I tried to get away, I said, Well, never mind
Maybe I'll see you some other time
But then he grabbed me by my arm and told me I couldn't leave
And said, Hey boy, you look mighty cute in them jeans
This had to be the most embarrassing thing in the world
My whole neighbourhood was watching me get beat up by a girl
And when my homeboys came, they didn't let me explain
They said prince, you're a sucker, you should be ashamed
My pride was busted right along with my eye
Cause my homeboys didn't realize that this girl was a guy
And in retrospect I had to laugh
I can't believe I didn't notice that this girlie had a mustache

(get down)

I remember last year, the day was October 5th
And my family went away on a weekend ski trip
And they left $100 and a note by the phone
That said don't have any company till we get home
No company I'm 18 They must be jokin!
And by 10 my crib was smokin
All of my friends with their hands in the air
Screaming (party over here party over there)
The party was jammin till at least about 5
And as my friends were leaving, they were like Homes, it was live
I thought the party was over, but really was just beginning
I turned around I thought I was dreamin, I saw four women
Dressed in red leather, tight to their booties
I gestured with my index finger come here, cuties
I tried to be chill, I didn't wanna scare em
I said Hi my name's the Prince they said Hi Prince, wheres your harem
I didn't waste time, I started shooting the gift
I said Y'all the type of girls I'd like to spend some time with
I walked upstair, my adrenaline pumpin
Till one hit me in the head with a lamp or somethin
The next thing I remember is wakin up nearly dead
With another Fred Flintstone lump on my head
Of course I was mad, this type of thing can burn at you
They tied me up and they were stealin my furniture
I said Yo sweetheart, what's wrong with you
What kind of stuff is this for a nice girl like you to do?"
She turned around and smiled and laughed
And that's the way that I noticed that the girlie had a mustache
Not four girls, four guys
They were in disguise it was a set up all the time
I made a complete fool of myself that day
My parents were pullin up just as the u-haul truck was pullin away
They walked in, looked like they seen a ghost
There I was, gagged and bound and tied to the bed post
My pop walked in and asked a brilliant question
Son, where's the furniture and why is your room so messy
Obviously Sherlock Holmes had been arrived
I said What do you think, dad, maybe we were robbed
I'm tied up, nothing's in one piece
Let's discuss the facts later, mom, please call the police
I wanted to have a party, I thought I was clever
My pop told me I was on punishment forever!
And in retrospect I had to laugh
I can't believe I didn't notice that the girlie had a mustache