The Dateing Game

Lets meet contestent #1,
He's a skitsofranic serail killer clown.
Who says wonem love his seXXie smile.
Lets find out if his charm will work on Sharon.
Sharon, whats your 1st question?

Contestent #1, I believe 1st impressions last forever.
So lets say u came over to my parents house and had dinner with me and my
family,
What would you do to make that 1st impression really stay?

hmmm...Lets see, well I'd have to think about it,
I might show up in a tux, HA! but I doubt it.
I'll probally just show up naked like i always do,
Look your momma in the eye and tell her, "Fuck you!"
Hurray up bitch I'm hungry, I smell spaghitti,
I'd pinch her limpy ass and tell her, "Get the food ready!"
Your dad would probally start trippin, and get me pissed,
I'd have to walk up and bust him in his fucking lips!
Its dinnre time, we're hearin' grace from your mother,
I'd pull a 40 out and poor some for your lil brother.
I'm staring steady at your sister,
I'll tell ya this, ya know for only 13 she got some big tits.
After that your dad would try and jump again,
But only this time I'd put the 40 to his chin.
After your mom does the dishes and the sliverwear,
I'd try fuck her till I nut in my underwear.

Now lets meet contestent #2,
He's a pyschopathic deranged crack head freak who works for The Dark Carnival,
He says women call him 'Strech Nuts'
Sharon, lets hear your question.

I like a man who's not afarid to show his true emotions,
A man who express' himself in his own special way.
#2 if you fell in love with me, exacetly how would you let me know?

1st thing, I could never love you,
You sound like a richy bitch, Yo, fuck you!
But if I did I'd probally show that I care by takeing all these other motha
fuckers outta here!
I'd go tho your phone book, and wack em all.
And find contestent #1, I'd break his fuckin jaw (What?)
Anyone who looked at ya, would have to pay,
I'd be blowin fuckin nuggets off all day.
I'd grab your tities and streach em down past your waist, let em go and watch
them both spring up in your face.
I'd sing love songs to ya, the best I can,
Get you naked, and hit it like a cave man!
So we go to the beach and walk through the sand,
I'd thro a lil in your face and say, "I'm just playin."
As you spit it all out, I'll rub your back, and grab your underwear and wedge it up
your ass crack.

Well it sounds like contestent #2 is just over flowing with senseativity,
Sharon.
It's a tuff choice so far,
Sharon, lets have your last question and see which one is going to win the
rights to your neden.

Ok, if we were in a dance club and you both noticed me at the same time,
tell me how would you each get my attention and what would your pick-up lines
be?
Who evers the smoothes wins.

Ok...First I'd slide up to the bar and tell you that I can't beileve how fucking fat
your are,
I'd tell you that I like the way you make your tities shake,
And if you lost a lil weight you'd look like Ricky Lake.

FUCK THAT! You'd be jackin me quick.
I'd order you a drink and stire it with my dick,
And then to get your attendtion in the crowed place.
I'd simply walk up and stick my nuts in your face!

Yeah, freak her with your nuts.
Yeah, that'll get her.

Tell her that she's fat,ya,
That'll work even better.

Look, fuck you, I got a strong rap, shit
You don't want contestent #2, he's mad wack.
I walked into a bar, and there he was,
Standing up on a bucket, uhh, tryin ta fuck it,
It was a big fuckin smelly ass farm lauma

Damn dawg!
How you gonna diss your momma!!!