The Ballad of Cedric Früvous

(Mike)
Up until just recently
Gambling was thought to be blasphemy

(Jian, as Cedric)
Like Wilson Phillips, evil stuff

(Mike)
But Canada is changing fast
Loosening it up at last legally

(Jian)
The new narcotic, take a puff.

(All)
Casinos open to raise funds for social needs

(Jian)
Full of roulette wheels,
Black jack and video slot machines.

(All)
Now guys like Cedric perform benevolent deeds.

(Jian)
I've been saving up my welfare
Just to throw the dice on the velvet greens.

(Mike)
Money made by dealing folks
Goes to helping healing folks 'cross the land

(Jian)
I stand and proudly gush.

(Mike)
Casinos are a ministry handled governmentally
Show your hand.

(Jian)
I almost had a royal flush.

(All)
Since Cedric spent his last dime on 15 to 2.

(Jian)
I put my chips on 32 red it went to black instead.

(All)
Guys like Cedric are pulling Medicaire through.

(Jian)
Now they're asking me to leave,
And I'm poor and I'm peeved so I just might heave.

(Mike)
So he mortgaged the house and he traded the kids
And he studied the odds and he practiced the bids.
The he ran to province next door to his
Where casinos were a brand new flourishing biz.
(All)
His new found luck at blackjack brought him such wealth
They realized he'd make a perfect Minister of Health.

(Mike)
Now he's wearing all the hats
Hanging out with bureaucrats at bookie joints.
(Jian)
He's a public money sponge.

(Mike)
Watch him place another bet
We go deeper into debt losing points
(Jian)
And credit ratings plunge

(Jian)
We've made a virtue of that which used to be vice:
(All)
Lower tax on corporations, gambling donations pay the bills.
(Jian)
Now gambling addicts are civil servants with dice:
(All)
Selling health to the hopeless, pocketing the profits, curing our ills.

(All)
Our social service is getting nervous
As Cedric hands it to one-armed bandits.
It's hell for purists but swell for tourists so yeah!

From the Liner:
1992- Originally written as a musical discussion of the issues around the
legalization of gambling in Canada, this piece was commissioned and performed in
'92
for CBC's national television newsmagazine The Journal. Since then,
Cedric
F. has been spotted with many celebrities (including T.V.'s Bob Denver) at
various
'nouveau' casinos.