Straight White Male

Walking around I've got no one to talk to
There's everyone and then there's just me
If I could change don't you think that I'd do it
God only knows why he cursed me to be
A straight white male

I state my problems other people roll their eyes
Three trips to the mall and zero khakis in my size
I've never been the victim of a random search for drugs
But you can't say my life is easy until you've walked a mile in my Uggs

Straight white male
I know the road looks tough ahead
The women want rights, the gays want kids
Can't you just leave us alone? And also no to the things you asked for

Everyone thinks that I've got it easy
Just cause it's true, doesn't mean that it's right
So pull up a chair and put down your pitchfork
Give me a chance to show you what it's like to be
A straight white male

The church has never made me feel ashamed of who I am
But I get emails from Netflix that Gmail doesn't mark as spam
My Country's constitution was handwritten by my race
But my wife bought me the brand new iPhone, with an iPod touch's case
(It doesn't fit that phone)

Straight white male
I know the road looks tough ahead
The women want rights, the blacks want not to be called the blacks
Can't you just leave us alone? And also no to the things you asked for
(Noooooo)

Straight white male
I know the road looks tough ahead
The women want rights, the African America...it doesn't work with the rhythm of the song
We used to have all the money and land
We still do but it's not as fun now