Sock Wearin' Man

Son I'm so sorry, but Batman can't come to your birthday this year
Though I can't afford much, I want to reward you for being the child I hold dear
So I scoured the phone book for cowboys and clowns
Til' one night at the bar on the hood of my car where a lost entertainer was found

Sock wearin' man (sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man (he's a sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man
He wears socks

He had a kids show four decades ago that aired on local T.V.
He did puppet plays that were funny and gay with socks on his hands and his feet
His socks told great stories that spanned space and time
But I didn't know that he'd just sold his sock back for a jug of cheap Mexican wine

Sock wearin' man (sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man (he's a sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man
With no socks

He banged on the screen door two hours before the party was supposed to begin
He wore an old bathrobe and terrycloth shorts and a menacing, boozy-breathed grin
He screamed, "Merry Christmas! I'm here for my show!"
"Though I've lost all my props to the grapes and the hops, I've still got these ten callused toes

Sock wearin' man (sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man (he's a sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man
With no socks

I quickly slipped sock man a folded up Jackson and tried to say thanks but no thanks
He cursed me and cussed me and blind sucker-punched me - I ached as he stumbled away
My son threw his party hat down and he cried
He called his mother who lives in the suburbs and screamed, "Daddy lied! Daddy lied!"

Sock wearin' man (sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man (sock wearin' man)
Sock wearin' man
He wears socks