Randy!

You can still make out his name
Writ large on the railroad bridge
The letters may have faded
But the memories never did

Older and wiser, he lived in a world
Where girls were good to go
His parties never got busted
And the beer was always cold

Six pack alley piss
Bad breath French kiss
RANDY!
Tell me where, tell me where, tell me where
Has your bad ass gone?

Randy knew his way 'round a tube top
And his finger smelled so sweet
He never had to pay for a hot dog
'Cause he killed his own meat

The Spanish called him amigo
The Hebrews called him a mensch
As far as I'm concerned
He was a bad ass son of a bitch

Blue jean heartache
Corn belt plumber snake
RANDY!
Tell me where, tell me where, tell me where
Has your bad ass gone?

Oh Randy, you were the paragon of manhood that I yearned to be
I wish you didn't run away when I was just 14
Last time I saw you you were drinking a tall boy
hanging down by the railroad tracks
You popped the top, you chugged it down
Said "are you coming back"... hell you never looked back

Randy's got the balls
The chicks dig his balls
Come on, motherfucker, come on!!

Randy dated my big sister
I hoped he'd be my brother-in-law
My parents couldn't stand him
They were jealous - that's all

Some say he's rotting in prison
Others say he died in Iraq
I don't care much about Jesus
'Til Randy comes back!

Crack a whippet, take a toke
Master of the whisker poke
Back room, pool cue
Sweet Tammy chalky blue
RANDY!
Tell me where, tell me where, tell me where
Has your bad ass gone