Evil Deeds

Lord please forgive me for what I do
For I know not what Ive done

Father, please forgive me for I know not what I do
I just never had the chance to ever meet you
Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be
My mother's evil seed and do these evil deeds

Mama had a baby and its head popped off
Head popped off, head popped off
Head popped off, head popped off, head popped off
But mama don't want me
The next thing I know I'm gettin' dropped off
Gettin' dropped off, gettin' dropped off
Gettin' dropped off, gettin' dropped off

Ring, ring, ring on the doorbell
Of the next door neighbors on their front porch
Their front porch, their front porch
Their front porch, their front porch
But they didn't want me neither
So they left me on someone else's lawn
Else's lawn, else's lawn, else's lawn

Till somebody finally took me in
My Great Aunt and Uncle Edna and Charles
Edna and Charles, Edna and Charles
Edna and Charles, Edna and Charles
They were the ones who were left in charge
My elementary they'd gang up on me and sing this song
Sing this song, sing this song
Sing this song, sing this song

It went a little something like
Mary had a little lamb, little lamb, little lamb
Debbie had a Satan spawn, Satan spawn
Mama, why do they keep saying this?
I just don't understand, understand
And by the way where's my dad?

Father, please forgive me for I know not what I do
I just never had the chance to ever meet you
Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be
My mother's evil seed and do these evil deeds

Predominately, predominately
Everything's always predominately
Predominately white, predominately black
Well, what about me? Where does that leave me?
Well, I guess that I'm between predominately both of 'em
I think if I hear that fuckin' word again I'ma scream

While I'm projectile vomiting
What do I look like a comedian to you?
Do you think that I'm kidding?
What do I look like some kinda idi?
Wait a minute, shit, don't answer that
Why am I so misunderstood?
Why do I go through so much bullshit?
It's such bullshit it's touch this bitch

Woe is me, there goes poor Marshall again
Whining about his millions and his mansion
And his sorrow he's always drowning in
And the dad that he never had
And how his childhood was so bad
And how his mom was a dope addict
And his ex-wife how they go at it

Man, I'd hate to have it as bad as that Mr. Mathers
Claims he had it, I can't imagine it
That little rich poor white bastard
Needs to take some of that cash out of the bank
And take a bath in it
Man, if I only had half of it, shit
If you only knew the half of it

Father, please forgive me for I know not what I do
I just never had the chance to ever meet you
Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be
My mother's evil seed and do these evil deeds

Evil deeds, while I plant these evil seeds
Please release me from these demons
I never had any of this shit planned
Mom, please believe
I don't wanna be Santa's spawn
Never got the chance to say I'm sorry
Now look at all the pain I caused

Dear Santa Claus, why are you not coming this year again?
What did I do that was so bad to deserved this?
Everything could have been so perfect
But life ain't a fairy tale
I'm about to be hosted up in the air
Forty feet below me there's people everywhere
I don't even know but who feel like they know me
'Cause I'm in this ferris wheel

And all I wanna do is go to the mall
And take Halie on the carousel
Without this crowd everywhere I go
But life is like a merry-go-round
Here we go now, do-si-do now
Curtains up the show must go now
Ring-around-the-rosy the show's over
You can all go home now

But the curtains just don't close for me
This ain't how fame was suppose to be
Where's the switch I can just turn off and on?
This ain't what I chose to be
So please God give me the strength
To have what it takes to carry on
Till I pass 50 back the baton
The camera's on, my soul is gone

Father, please forgive me for I know not what I do
I just never had the chance to ever meet you
Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be
My mother's evil seed and do these evil deeds

Father, please forgive me for I know not what I do
I just never had the chance to ever meet you
Therefore I did not know that I would grow to be
My mother's evil seed and do these evil deeds