Ask Louey

By Roger Brown

LOUEY, I'M LOUEY, FLYING MY OWN PRIVATE JET.
LIKE I'VE GOT WINGS THAT BRINGS ME
IN TOUCH WITH THE FANCY JET SET.

I'M LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
IF YOU THINK THAT I'M NOT THE BIG BOSS,
THEN LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
WILL EXPLAIN YOU'RE ON THE WRONG COURSE.

IF YOU'RE IN TROUBLE AND IN NEED IN HELP,
YOU DON'T NEED TO CALL NO ONE ELSE.
IF YOU PLAN TO
ASK LOUEY, LOUEY, BUT NOWHERE TO FIND WHERE IT'S AT.
ASK LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T YOU'LL NEVER GET FAT.

DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE,
DON'T ROUSE MY IRE, CAN YA DIG?
I'M MISTER BIG, I'M MISTER BIG.

I'M LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
I'LL TELL YOU WHERE THE PICKERS HAVE HID.
JUST LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
THE GREATEST SINCE THE SUNNY DANCE KID.

I'M LOUEY, BIG LOUEY,
I KNOW THAT YOU THINK I'M A REAL GULL.
BUT I'M BETTER, MUCH BETTER,
THE TRUTH IS I'M LOUEY, THE SEAGULL.

DON'T PLAY WITH FIRE,
DON'T ROUSE MY IRE, YOU DIG?
I'M MISTER BIG.

I'M MISTER BIG, I'M THE BIG ONE.
YOU'VE GOTTA TALK TO ME.
THIS IS MY PLACE!
YOU'RE TALKING TO THE BIG ONE.
I'M THE BIG ONE.
OH, OH, OH, OH...

DIALOG:

THE PASSENGERS CROWDED THE DECKS. THEY LOOKED AT NEW YORK, THE STATUE OF LIBERTY, THE WINTER SUN ON THE HUDSON RIVER.
LOUEY LANDED DELICATELY.
"LOOK OUT, FOLKS! HERE'S SCOUSEY!"
"SCOUSEY! WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?"
"EARLY MORNING DIP. THE WATER'S NOT TOO BAD.
NEW YORK! LOOK AT IT! DIRTY AND BIG AND BEAUTIFUL AND IT'S ALL MINE!"