Will You Be Me?

i wonder if you've ever seen
the way the man in the lookout house looks at me
before he takes out his teeth and asks me to sign the wall
and i sign his wall with a heel of bread
dipped in green listerine
and then i kiss him on the head
and leave through the door in the floor
as he starts to fall down dead

i've got a pocket full of quarters and i'm headed for the woods
i'm gonna play miss pac man in a puddle of mud
i'm not gonna lose my shoes unless i start to cry
and the man in the moon said i'm not left handed
and he did a swan dive to the promise land
while you were lost in my bob hope diamond eyes

there's scary topiary to the left of the pool
the trail to the right goes back to middle school
i'm trying to read what the flashing red letters say
they say lowest common destiny and so i run away
'cause i can't make the grade when i'm on display
here comes the man with the laminated plan
for the vince mcmahon expressway

will you be me? will you be me?
wear my clothes, drink my coffee,
write my mommy, do my homework,
feed my babies, fight my crazies

will you be me? will you be me?
wear my clothes, drink my coffee,
write my mommy, do my homework,
feed my babies, fight my crazies

my cat came back life, turned into a skunk
kissed my dog and he got drunk
when i tried to pet her she turned into a beam of light
pam and susie were there i said i miss you
but they didn't hear me
the ground started bouncing so i jumped up trying
to feel like an angel flying
watch out for the power lines
unless you wanna die