Who Stole My Car?

Yo Jeff, what's up Holmes? Yo what's up Prince?
Yo what's up man? Aey where's my car at?
Where's your car, why you askin' me?
No I parked my car right here, you're standin' here where's my car?
I been here for an hour and a half I ain't seen it
Come on man stop playin' Jeff where's my car at?
No I'm serious man, it's not in my pocket I haven't seen your car
Jeff where's my car I parked my car right here man?
(I don't know)

Now a joke is a joke and fun and games are chill
But this isn't funny this is straight up ill
Now there's a limit to humor and this is gone too far
I ain't laughin' no more y'all now who stole my car
I don't know

I don't know if y'all ever had a car stolen before
But it's a real crazy feelin' when you walk out the door
And you don't need a map or any kind of chart
To know you're standin' in the spot where your car used to be parked
Now you know you parked your car their but yet you keep lookin'
'Cause your mind didn't except yet that somebody took it
So your scratchin' your head and tryin' to get things clear
And there's always some idiot who says, "You sure you parked here"

To call the police would be the move that's smart
But instead you keep lookin' where you know you didn't park
Searchin' for reasons like maybe tickets you owed
Somethin' to justify that maybe it got towed
But not stolen naa never forget it
But then you ask yourself well where the hell is it?
If there was a prize you'd win dummy of the year
'Cause you lookin' somewhere else when you know you parked it here

So to never never land you find yourself strollin'
And when you finally except that it's stolen
You call the police and they come and say
"That's the 437th car stolen today"
As if that's somethin' that he really needed to mention
Then they start askin' you real dumb questions like

"When's the last time that you saw it?"
You idiot right before they stole it
Now you're mad this cop is talkin' to you
And somebody's in your car headin' to Kalamazoo
Officer fool or whoever you are
Can you please get off your butt and find who stole my car?

I remember my first car never forget it
A candy apple red irub windows be tinted
Talk about fast like a rocket to drive
When from zero to 60 in like 5 point 5
And matchin' red rims but that wasn't enough
It had a car phone for when I wanted to reach out and touch
An Alpine stereo that straight up rocked
With 12 inch woofers you could hear for blocks

The first day I got it, I was frontin' real hard
I could hear people sayin' "Damn look at that car"
I was hyped and I wanted my friends to check it out
So I went to the spot where they usually hangin' out
Just my luck nobody standin' outside
And I really didn't feel like parkin' my ride
So I honked my horn but nobody was comin'
I said, "What the heck I ran inside and left it runnin'"

I was inside for 20 seconds that's all
I found my friends and said, "You gotta check this out y'all"
But when we came back out the car wasn't there
Man you ain't buy nothin,' I did I swear
My friends went inside I was mad they didn't believe me
Now I'm standin' outside at the spot my car used to be
It was hard to figure out what to do all alone
But then I got it call the car phone

Fresh Princes car
Yo thief bring my car back now before I bust your
Hold up wait a minute pal, seems like you kinda forgot the keys
I thought man he's right well bring it back please
Hello, "Listen thief don't hang up"
Then luckily Jeff pulled up
I told him what had happened someone's stolen my car
I said, "Come on Jeff, let's get him he can't be far"

We rode around for about 20 minutes
When we were just about to say forget it
When I spotted him, I said, "Jeff go get it"
We pulled up behind him and man he jetted
He was drivin' all wild and fast like
He was gettin' points for the stuff that he crashed
I called him on the car phone again and I said
"Of course you realize when I catch you you're dead"

All through Philly was a high speed chasin'
Dude was playin' around like he thought we was racin'
A hundred miles an hour and he lost control
And slammed my car into a telephone pole
I ran to the car I said, "Man you okay"
He said, "Yeah", so I punched him in the face
The cops came up as if it was my fault
They say me punch dude and charged me with assault

If his neck was closer I probably would have grabbed it
He told the cops that I said, "He could have it"
I calmed down and they got things straight
I saw half my car in Seventh street the other half in Eighth
I wanna just jump in the ocean
My car looked like it was a leggo explosion
Why does life have to be so hard?
Don't laugh next time it could be your car