Then She Bit Me

I was in a club, one Friday
A lovely lady comes walking my way
She walked up and she said, "Hello"
I said, "Hi, my names Joe"
I was lyin', so was she

She said her name was Donna
But her shirt said Marie
Once you get to know me
You'll never forget me
I said why, then she bit me

Ouch, that didn't hurt, kinda nicked me
But she ripped my shirt, at that point I fell asleep
Woke up at her house, in the back of a jeep
A blazer, '89, tinted windows
I wish it was mine, oh, it is
But where are my keys?
There they are in the ignition

I'm at her house
It's a tepee
No, it's a cabin
No, a skyscrapper

No, an igloo, no, it's a shack
Forget it, I'll go around back
It's a castle, with a moat
How I get across boat
Shooo, I hate that sound

I went inside, looked right, looked left
There she is, oh, no that's Jeff
He's invisible, I went downstairs
It's a loft, no, it's a dungeon
There she is, doing areobics
No, yoga, no, karate

You killed my teacher
But, what a body

No, he wasn't there, I'm tellin' you I saw her
No, really I saw her, he was playin' checkers
No, Nintendo, Ok, I'm lyin'
There she is, watching T V

All my children, no, that's Cosby
No, speed racer, no, that's Shaft
No, that's Kimble, my fault the TV's off
There she is, what a doll
No, that's Chucky from child's play, I kissed her
And she told me this is home
I entered a dimension called the Twilight Zone
Where anything can happen

I'm rough like sandpaper, hard like Algebra
You should be glad that I was nice, and I allowed ya to
Step on stage, to kick your ryhmes off
I tried to be nice, but you mistook that for softness
Now it's goin' to hell with your opinion
What I say goes fom now on, this is my dominion
Are there any rappers to step on stage
'Cause if you do you'll feel the force of my rage, I'm on a rampage

Syche just hit me, Jeff wanted to do that
But I didn't, I thought that it would make the record dumb
I guess I wasn't wrong
Mary had a little lamb, her fleece was white as snow
And everywhwre that Mary went, so did Humpty Dumpty
Jack and Jill went up a hill, to fetch a pail of water, Jack fell down
And broke his crown, hickory, dickory, dock
Got to use the bathroom now, Sike, I was drafted