I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I then that I could never fail. For I studied very and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I up the apple so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Beta key, polishing the apple very frequently.) On day I made a stop At a exclusive clothing shop. I opened up a charge account and them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) That suit was a part of a intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, That now I am a in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was going out whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned most advertising term. I to the men in the dark gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting wall to wall. I keep my mouth and I keep my ears shut, And got a little palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I also thank my who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)