I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I then that I could never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I up the apple so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Beta Key. (He soon had a Phi Beta key, From polishing the apple frequently.) On graduation day I a stop At a very clothing shop. I up a charge account and asked them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The best flannel in the clothing store.) That suit was a of a great intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I my ears open and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the room is the key To the of the agency.) I worked hard for the dear old firm, I learned most every term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, With very carpeting from wall to wall. I keep my mouth open and I keep my shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And got a little palace in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)