I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I then that I could never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He had a Phi Beta Kappa key, From polishing the apple frequently.) On day I made a stop At a exclusive clothing shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The best flannel in the clothing store. (The best flannel in the clothing store.) That suit was a part of a intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was of a great intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, That now I am a in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears open and my big shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned most every term. I to the men in the dark gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting from to wall. I keep my mouth and I keep my ears shut, And got a little palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a palace in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I also my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)