I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew that I could never fail. For I very hard and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Kappa key, From the apple very frequently.) On graduation day I made a At a very exclusive shop. I opened up a charge and asked them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) That suit was a of a great intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He all the pencils so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my open and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned most advertising term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting wall to wall. I keep my mouth and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a little in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)