I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew that I could never fail. For I studied very and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I up the apple so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Kappa Key. (He had a Phi Beta Kappa key, From polishing the very frequently.) On graduation day I a stop At a very exclusive shop. I up a charge account and asked them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The gray flannel in the clothing store.) That was a part of a great intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He all the pencils so pointedly, now he is a member of the agency.) I my ears open and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the to the powder room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the room is the key To the of the agency.) I worked hard for the dear old firm, I learned every advertising term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, With very carpeting from wall to wall. I keep my mouth open and I my ears shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I also my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)