I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then that I never fail. For I studied very and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Beta Key. (He had a Phi Beta Kappa key, From the apple very frequently.) On graduation day I a stop At a very exclusive shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The gray flannel in the clothing store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) suit was a part of a great intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was of a great intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I sharpened all the so pointedly, That now I am a in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, now he is a member of the agency.) I my ears open and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was out with whom, And who had the to the powder room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked hard for the dear old firm, I learned most every term. I said to the men in the gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting wall to wall. I keep my open and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a palace in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I also my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)