I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then I could never fail. For I very hard and furthermore, I polished up the for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Beta key, From polishing the apple frequently.) On day I made a stop At a very exclusive shop. I opened up a charge and asked them for The gray flannel in the clothing store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) That was a part of a great intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was of a great intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) I got a crew cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned most advertising term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, With fancy carpeting from wall to wall. I my mouth open and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And got a little palace in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)