I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then that I never fail. For I studied very and furthermore, I polished up the for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Kappa key, polishing the apple very frequently.) On graduation day I made a At a very clothing shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The best flannel in the clothing store. (The best flannel in the clothing store.) suit was a part of a great intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I sharpened all the so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, now he is a member of the agency.) I kept my open and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was going out whom, And who had the to the powder room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real for the dear old firm, I learned most advertising term. I said to the men in the gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, very fancy carpeting from wall to wall. I my mouth open and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a little in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I also thank my father who was of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)