I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then I could never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I polished up the for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Kappa Key. (He had a Phi Beta Kappa key, From polishing the apple frequently.) On graduation day I a stop At a very exclusive shop. I opened up a charge account and them for The best flannel in the clothing store. (The gray flannel in the clothing store.) That suit was a part of a intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my open and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned most every term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting wall to wall. I keep my open and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a little in Connecticut. (And got a little palace in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I also thank my father who was of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)