I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then that I never fail. For I very hard and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That soon I had a Phi Beta Key. (He soon had a Phi Kappa key, From the apple very frequently.) On graduation day I made a At a exclusive clothing shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The best gray in the clothing store. (The best flannel in the clothing store.) suit was a part of a great intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was of a great intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, That now I am a in the agency. (He all the pencils so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the room is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned every advertising term. I to the men in the dark gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting from to wall. I my mouth open and I keep my ears shut, And got a little palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a palace in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I also thank my father who was of the Board, (And grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)