I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then I could never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Beta key, From polishing the very frequently.) On day I made a stop At a exclusive clothing shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) That suit was a part of a intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I sharpened all the so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He all the pencils so pointedly, now he is a member of the agency.) I kept my open and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I who was going out with whom, And who had the to the powder room. (And who had the to the powder room.) For the key to the powder you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the room is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real hard for the old firm, I learned every advertising term. I said to the men in the dark suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I a big office at the end of the hall, very fancy carpeting from wall to wall. I my mouth open and I keep my ears shut, And got a little palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)