I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then that I never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I polished up the for the professor. (He up the apple for the professor) I up the apple so frequently, soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Beta key, From the apple very frequently.) On day I made a stop At a very exclusive shop. I opened up a charge and asked them for The best flannel in the clothing store. (The gray flannel in the clothing store.) suit was a part of a great intrigue, For it I was a member of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it proved he was a of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I all the pencils so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears and my big mouth shut, And I all the agency's scuttlebutt. I learned who was going out whom, And who had the to the powder room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I worked real for the dear old firm, I learned most every term. I to the men in the dark gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting from to wall. I my mouth open and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a little in Connecticut. (And he's got a palace in Connecticut.) So I old Yale, and I thank the Lord, And I also thank my who was Chairman of the Board, (And grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)