I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then I could never fail. For I studied very and furthermore, I up the apple for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, That I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Kappa key, From polishing the very frequently.) On graduation day I made a At a very clothing shop. I opened up a account and asked them for The best gray flannel in the store. (The gray flannel in the clothing store.) That was a part of a great intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was of a great intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) Then I got a crew cut and a tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, Sharpening the of a big VP. (Oh he a lot of pencils for a big VP) I sharpened all the so pointedly, now I am a partner in the agency. (He all the pencils so pointedly, That now he is a of the agency.) I kept my ears and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I learned who was out with whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the room is the key To the of the agency.) I real hard for the dear old firm, I learned most every term. I said to the men in the gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With very fancy carpeting from to wall. I keep my mouth open and I my ears shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And he's got a little in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Yes he's to his father, Who was of the Board.)