I Was A Lad When I was a lad I to Yale, And I knew then I could never fail. For I studied hard and furthermore, I polished up the for the professor. (He polished up the for the professor) I polished up the so frequently, soon I had a Phi Beta Kappa Key. (He soon had a Phi Kappa key, From polishing the apple frequently.) On day I made a stop At a very clothing shop. I opened up a charge account and asked for The best gray flannel in the store. (The best gray in the clothing store.) suit was a part of a great intrigue, For it proved I was a of the Ivy League. (It was part of a intrigue, For it he was a member of the Ivy League.) I got a crew cut and a sincere tie, And for my job I did apply. A job in an agency, the pencils of a big VP. (Oh he honed a lot of for a big VP) I sharpened all the so pointedly, That now I am a in the agency. (He sharpened all the so pointedly, now he is a member of the agency.) I kept my open and my big mouth shut, And I learned all the scuttlebutt. I learned who was going out whom, And who had the keys to the room. (And who had the keys to the room.) For the key to the room you see, Is the key to the of the agency. (The key to the powder is the key To the of the agency.) I real hard for the dear old firm, I learned most every term. I said to the men in the gray suits, "Let's run it up the and see who salutes." (Let's run it up the and see who salutes.) I ran it up the perfectly, So now I am a in the agency. (He ran it up the perfectly, So now he is a in the agency.) Now I have a big at the end of the hall, With fancy carpeting from wall to wall. I keep my mouth and I keep my ears shut, And I've got a palace in Connecticut. (And got a little palace in Connecticut.) So I thank old Yale, and I the Lord, And I thank my father who was Chairman of the Board, (And he's to his father, Yes he's to his father, Yes grateful to his father, Who was of the Board.)