Luyện nghe bài hát Two

Now if you're me on Twitter you know i had diarrhea today.
Am i using web site properly?
I like to sit one the toilet reverse. . .
"we're listening..."
it right?
you can turn around, you can on the tank.
"I'm gonna be for awhile..."
Yea, the people that are clapping right now are the ones are like "ok, all kidding aside he is a genius."
No, no, no it's the simplicity, been sitting on that thing my whole life, and you're telling me i can turn around, have a bowl of cereal, yea.
Set the ten minutes later... MULTITASK.
Alright, nobody should eat on the toilet.
"But i'm lactose intolerant, and i've always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins whole milk."
It's more of an milk cereal, but live your dream.
Somebody e-mailed me and they were "Hey Dipshit"
Which for the record is a subject line if you ever want me to read your e-mails.
Oh, let's see what nice fan has to say
You had me at hello.
Like " you know you have to your pants completely off to sit on the toilet backwards.

Alright, so i research.
a pre-shower shit, agreed?
Can we on, sticklers to every joke detail?
You ever have a shower shit?
Awe, might as well go to bed and start your whole day over.
THINGS. ARE. WRONG. That's not the order of events, there's a glitch in the matrix, world's not real.
MOM, me.
I recently started flat ironing my hair.
Come on ladies, you know how it is, if you have curly hair you want straight hair.
So now when see my balls they're like "oh my goodness, that looks really,really good."
that damaging to the hair?
And im "yea, but what are you gonna do?"
I wish victoria beckham would knock it off with all the dues, i can't keep up.
My balls still have the '06
Remember lil, trendy little cut?
Spice!
Looks my testicles.
Am i the only person that David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt?
I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen one of them is out of their prime.
Can you imagine those two men together, making
If there is a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle just a little bit, at the of those two men together.
This has to do with your homophobic sexual preference, at that level it's art you monkey, ok?
You be honored that you share the same restroom with those greek gods.
Can you if they had a child?
Was Simba!?!?!?
the fuck, was that Simba?
That's the kid?
That's Pitt
The most child the world has ever seen.
baby Jesus. . . with better abs.
That's a good baby.
If they had a baby abercrombie store, they would him to work the front door, right?
Just there, shirtless, propped up, he can't stand yet. Just leaning against the wall.
poster, big poster of himself, just standing there, little tight pampers.
And walk in, and you'd be like "I dont wanna say this, but i wanna fuck that baby."
Oh man, do i wanna fuck baby.
If i had three wishes, two of them would be to fuck that baby, and one be for more wishes.
you can't do that. . .
Then i wanna fuck baby a third time.
I would to use all three wishes banging that baby
Go ahead dumb people, be offended by a joke that have a plausible premise/
Oh, i'd love to read e-mail.
"I felt you went over the line a bit, when you theoretically wanted to fornicate a mythical child."
Heads up Mormons, this joke's sting.
Next time a golden plate falls from the heavens, go ahead and put it in spam file.
Let's not base your entire life on a religion that's old enough for my dad to be like "Oh yea, that's not true... uh, that happen"
I don't know why they're wearing their pajamas under clothes.
I their god wants them to be comfy.
The Mormon church spent 20 dollars last year, in the state of California, making sure queers didn't legally get married, successfully i might add.
So i we're not as liberal as we all thought.
And this is what i say to the most conservative that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal.
because the state says its legal, it's not like god's gonna let them into heaven.

So you can still sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates just going