Luyện nghe bài hát Two

Now if you're me on Twitter you know i had diarrhea today.
Am i using that web properly?
I like to sit one the toilet reverse. . .
"we're listening..."
it right?
you can turn around, you can on the tank.
"I'm gonna be for awhile..."
Yea, the people that are clapping now are the ones that are like "ok, all kidding aside he is a genius."
No, no, no it's the simplicity, i've been sitting on that thing my whole life, and you're telling me i can around, have a bowl of cereal, yea.
Set the ten minutes later... MULTITASK.
Alright, nobody eat while on the toilet.
"But i'm lactose intolerant, and always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk."
more of an almond milk cereal, but live your dream.
Somebody e-mailed me and they like "Hey Dipshit"
Which for the record is a wonderful subject line if you ever want me to read e-mails.
Oh, let's see what this fan has to say
You had me at hello.
Like " you you have to take your pants completely off to sit on the toilet backwards.

Alright, so i research.
a pre-shower shit, agreed?
Can we on, sticklers to every joke detail?
You ever a post shower shit?
Awe, might as well go back to bed and start whole day over.
THINGS. ARE. WRONG. That's not the order of events, there's a glitch in the matrix, this not real.
MOM, me.
I recently started flat my ball hair.
Come on ladies, you how it is, if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
So now people see my balls they're like "oh my goodness, that looks really,really good."
Isnt that damaging to the
And im like "yea, but what are you do?"
I wish victoria would knock it off with all the cute dues, i can't keep up.
My still have the '06 Posh
Remember that lil, trendy little
Spice!
Looks my testicles.
Am i the only person that David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt?
I know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen before one of them is out of their prime.
Can you imagine those two men together, love?
If there is a man in here that's junk wiggle just a little bit, at the thought of those two men together.
This has nothing to do with your homophobic sexual preference, at that level art you monkey, ok?
You should be honored that you share the same restroom those greek gods.
Can you imagine if had a child?
Was Simba!?!?!?
What the fuck, was Simba?
That's the Beckham-Pitt
That's Pitt
The most beautiful child the world has seen.
baby Jesus. . . with better abs.
That's a good baby.
If they had a abercrombie store, they would hire him to work the front door, right?
standing there, shirtless, propped up, he can't stand yet. Just leaning against the wall.
Think poster, big poster of himself, just standing there, tight pampers.
And you'd walk in, and you'd be like "I dont wanna say this, but i wanna that baby."
Oh man, do i wanna fuck baby.
If i had three wishes, two of them would be to that baby, and one would be for more wishes.
you can't do that. . .
Then i wanna fuck baby a third time.
I would to use all three wishes banging that baby
Go ahead dumb people, be by a joke that doesn't have a plausible premise/
Oh, i'd love to your e-mail.
"I felt you went over the a bit, when you theoretically wanted to fornicate with a mythical child."
Heads up Mormons, this joke's sting.
Next time a golden falls from the heavens, go ahead and put it in your spam file.
Let's not base your life on a religion that's old enough for my dad to be like "Oh yea, that's not true... uh, that didn't happen"
I know why they're wearing their pajamas under their clothes.
I their god wants them to be comfy.
The church spent 20 million dollars last year, in the state of California, making sure queers didn't legally get married, successfully i might add.
So i we're not as liberal as we all thought.
And this is what i say to the most person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal.
Just because the state says its legal, it's not like god's gonna let them heaven.

So you can still sleep sound every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the gates just going