Luyện nghe bài hát Two

Now if you're me on Twitter you know i had diarrhea today.
Am i using web site properly?
I like to sit one the toilet reverse. . .
"we're listening..."
it right?
you can turn around, you can on the tank.
"I'm gonna be for awhile..."
Yea, the people that are clapping right now are the ones that are like "ok, all aside he is a genius."
No, no, no it's the simplicity, i've been sitting on that thing my whole life, and you're telling me i can turn around, a bowl of cereal, yea.
Set the ten minutes later... MULTITASK.
Alright, nobody eat while on the toilet.
"But i'm lactose intolerant, and always wanted to enjoy a bowl of Puffins with whole milk."
It's more of an almond milk cereal, but live dream.
Somebody e-mailed me and they were "Hey Dipshit"
Which for the record is a wonderful subject if you ever want me to read your e-mails.
Oh, let's see what this fan has to say
You had me at hello.
Like " you know you have to your pants completely off to sit on the toilet backwards.

Alright, so i research.
a pre-shower shit, agreed?
Can we move on, sticklers to every joke
You ever a post shower shit?
Awe, might as well go back to bed and your whole day over.
THINGS. ARE. WRONG. That's not the order of events, there's a glitch in the matrix, world's not real.
MOM, me.
I recently flat ironing my ball hair.
on ladies, you know how it is, if you have curly hair you just want straight hair.
So now when people see my balls they're "oh my goodness, that looks really,really good."
that damaging to the hair?
And im like "yea, but what are you do?"
I wish victoria beckham would it off with all the cute dues, i can't keep up.
My balls still the '06 Posh
that lil, trendy little cut?
Spice!
Looks my testicles.
Am i the only person that hopes David Beckham has sex with Brad
I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it before one of them is out of their prime.
Can you imagine those two men together, love?
If there is a man in here that's junk doesn't wiggle a little bit, at the thought of those two men together.
This has nothing to do your homophobic sexual preference, at that level it's art you monkey, ok?
You should be honored that you share the restroom with those greek gods.
Can you imagine if had a child?
Was Simba!?!?!?
What the fuck, was Simba?
That's the Beckham-Pitt
That's Pitt
The most beautiful child the has ever seen.
Picture baby Jesus. . . with abs.
That's a lookin' baby.
If had a baby abercrombie store, they would hire him to work the front door, right?
Just standing there, shirtless, propped up, he can't stand yet. Just against the wall.
Think poster, big poster of himself, standing there, little tight pampers.
And you'd walk in, and you'd be "I dont wanna say this, but i wanna fuck that baby."
Oh man, do i wanna that baby.
If i had three wishes, two of them be to fuck that baby, and one would be for more wishes.
Well you do that. . .
i wanna fuck that baby a third time.
I would like to use all wishes banging that baby
Go ahead people, be offended by a joke that doesn't have a plausible premise/
Oh, i'd love to read e-mail.
"I felt you went over the line a bit, when you theoretically wanted to fornicate with a child."
up Mormons, this joke's gonna sting.
Next time a golden plate falls from the heavens, go ahead and put it in your file.
Let's not base your entire life on a religion that's old for my dad to be like "Oh yea, that's not true... uh, that didn't happen"
I don't know why they're wearing pajamas under their clothes.
I assume their god them to be comfy.
The Mormon church spent 20 million dollars year, in the state of California, making sure queers didn't legally get married, successfully i might add.
So i guess we're not as as we all thought.
And this is what i say to the most conservative person so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal.
Just because the state says its legal, it's not like god's gonna let them heaven.

So you can still sleep sound every knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates just going