Luyện nghe bài hát Two

Now if you're me on Twitter you know i had diarrhea today.
Am i using web site properly?
Sometimes I to sit one the toilet reverse. . .
"we're listening..."
it nice
you can turn around, you can on the tank.
"I'm gonna be for awhile..."
Yea, the people that are clapping now are the ones that are like "ok, all kidding aside he is a genius."
No, no, no it's the simplicity, i've been sitting on that thing my whole life, and telling me i can turn around, have a bowl of cereal, yea.
Set the alarm ten later... MULTITASK.
Alright, nobody should eat on the toilet.
"But i'm lactose intolerant, and i've always wanted to a bowl of Puffins with whole milk."
It's more of an almond milk cereal, but live dream.
Somebody e-mailed me and they like "Hey Dipshit"
Which for the record is a wonderful subject line if you want me to read your e-mails.
Oh, let's see what nice fan has to say
You had me at hello.
Like " you know you have to take your pants off to sit on the toilet backwards.

Alright, so i research.
a pre-shower shit, agreed?
Can we move on, sticklers to every detail?
You ever have a post shower
Awe, might as go back to bed and start your whole day over.
THINGS. ARE. WRONG. That's not the order of events, there's a glitch in the matrix, this not real.
MOM, me.
I recently started flat my ball hair.
Come on ladies, you know how it is, if you curly hair you just want straight hair.
So now when people see my balls they're like "oh my goodness, looks really,really good."
Isnt damaging to the hair?
And im like "yea, but what are you do?"
I wish victoria beckham would knock it off with all the cute dues, i can't up.
My still have the '06 Posh
that lil, trendy little cut?
Spice!
Looks my testicles.
Am i the person that hopes David Beckham has sex with Brad Pitt?
I don't know who's in charge of casting in Hollywood, but make it happen one of them is out of their prime.
Can you imagine two men together, making love?
If there is a man in here that's doesn't wiggle just a little bit, at the thought of those two men together.
This has nothing to do with your homophobic preference, at that level it's art you monkey, ok?
You should be honored that you share the same with those greek gods.
Can you imagine if they had a
Was Simba!?!?!?
the fuck, was that Simba?
That's the kid?
That's cum?
The most beautiful child the world has seen.
Picture baby Jesus. . . with abs.
That's a good baby.
If they had a baby abercrombie store, they would hire him to the front door, right?
Just standing there, shirtless, propped up, he can't stand yet. Just leaning the wall.
Think poster, big poster of himself, just standing there, little pampers.
And you'd walk in, and you'd be like "I dont wanna say this, but i wanna fuck baby."
Oh man, do i fuck that baby.
If i had three wishes, two of them would be to fuck baby, and one would be for more wishes.
you can't do that. . .
Then i wanna that baby a third time.
I would like to use all three wishes that baby
Go dumb people, be offended by a joke that doesn't have a plausible premise/
Oh, i'd love to read e-mail.
"I felt you went over the line a bit, when you theoretically wanted to fornicate with a child."
Heads up Mormons, this gonna sting.
Next time a golden plate falls from the heavens, go ahead and put it in spam file.
not base your entire life on a religion that's old enough for my dad to be like "Oh yea, that's not true... uh, that didn't happen"
I don't know why they're their pajamas under their clothes.
I assume god wants them to be comfy.
The Mormon church spent 20 million dollars last year, in the state of California, making sure queers didn't legally get married, successfully i add.
So i guess not as liberal as we all thought.
And this is what i say to the conservative person that's so terrified of gay marriage becoming legal.
Just because the state says its legal, it's not god's gonna let them into heaven.

So you can still sleep every night knowing that goal line defense is up at the pearly gates just going