Louis: It seems today, all you see is violence in movies, and sex on T.V. Peter: But where are those good values, on we used to rely? It used to be, a big time star was elegant as Garbo, or Lamarr. Stewie: But now we get whores Jenny Lopez, you to curl up and die. Chorus: Lucky a Family Guy. Lucky theres a man who can do all the things make us- Laugh and cry!
Chorus: a Family Guy!
Louis: When I was young, the were fair, with Mister Johnny Mathis, and and Cher. Peter: But now we get Timber-homo. Louis: A all gone awry! The classic films were works of arts, the images graceful, the stories were smart. But now we get Matrix Revolution, Im sorry I know this rhyme, but what the hell were you Brothers thinking?! Chorus: Lucky theres a guy, lucky theres a fella, than vanilla, wholesome as a piece of- Stewie: Pie! Chorus: a family guy!
Lois: His smiles a delight. Chris: He lets me see the on the internet sites. Peter! Meg: He me my cute little hat. Yeah we should have a talk about that. Chorus: that! And his hat!
Brian: He's the comedy arts. Stewie: He says, "Look out, Hiroshima!" then farts. (fart effect) Lois: He's loaded with appeal. Peter: And best of all my are real. Have a feel! Brian: No you. I gave it the office. Lois: The Brady Bunch has got their and pretty Petrie has Dicky Van Dyke. But who around here fill those loafers? Chorus: But here's a happy reply. there's a family guy. Lucky a man who positively can do all the thing that make us- Laugh and Cry! Chorus: He's a Guy! He's a Family Guy!!!
Lois: Oh My! Thank you much! What a welcome. Peter: I am gunna buy each and every one of you a beer the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm kidding for sake, I'm not serious. expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the idea should you I'm generous; I shouldnt actually to spend any money. Meg: Uh, can we turn the spotlight a bit? Yeah, it is a little bright. Stewie: You Brian, I- I just noticed something. that light shining on you from that angle, you a lot like Jamie Farr. Yeah, you've told me that before and uh, it's interesting, because I' thinking you look a lot like Spears. Really?! How so? Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your Britney does. You know where... You how her eyes are just like a hair too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some post-birth that should have been done but it was the south, so they didn't the medical technology. Oh, I see. Mom! Lois: Yes Chris: I a wedgie. Chris, honey, wait until the intermission. Then you can fix it. Peter: Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes crap the show. Lois: Thats right! For example, not a lot of know this, but in one episode of the show there was a of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, couldnt find a puppy who looked like him, so they actually a dog suit for the scene, and the actor of the suit was Raven-Symon, who was Olivia on the show. Fascinating bit of trivia. All right, okay, I got one for ya. You the sound stage where we shoot Family Guy is the same stage where shot the Golden Girls back in the 80s, Now one of the stage was telling me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night they were all ready to shoot, and uh, the was waiting. And uh, nobody could find Bea Arthur. So everybodys freaking out and uh, one of the producers runs in and "Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthurs in jail! Oh My God! Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a little too to drink before the and uh, they found her standing on the street corner, exposing her to traffic. Oh My God! Meg: Ew! Disgusting! Can you believe that? Brian: Wait a minute. How the can Bea Arthur have a penis? Eh, special permit. Stewie: I say, is it with these actors? perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they come out to Hollywood and just go berserk. You gotta watch your language, kid. Stewie: Oh, its a record album for sake. Lets cut a bit. Nipples! Hehe. Stewie: example. Although I must say I am amazed at the language you can get with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and Order the night and I swear to god, I heard use the word balls. And I thought to myself, "My God, that- that Wolf just does whatever he damn well pleases, he? Bringing words like balls Americas living rooms. I wonder how he'd like it if I just walked his living room and use the balls. Uh... I think that would be breaking an entering. You know, I am so they allowed us to bring Stewie this evening. The show we did we had to leave him at home. did'nt allow babies in the theater. Brian: Well of course. People wanted to be able to enjoy the Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted head! Ugh! Oh what a night that was. My was a total bitch. Stewie! Thats very rude. Especially since your is here tonight. and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff. Hailey Hi Mr. and Mrs. Griffin How are ya, sweetheart? Lois: So was it really that bad babysitting Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Lets tell story right.
please.