Louis: It seems today, that all you see is in movies, and sex on T.V. Peter: But where are good old-fashioned values, on which we used to Brian: It used to be, a big time was elegant as Garbo, or Lamarr. Stewie: But now we get like Jenny Lopez, you want to up and die. Chorus: Lucky a Family Guy. theres a man who positively can do all the things that us- Stewie: and cry!
He's a Family Guy!
Louis: I was young, the songs were fair, with Mister Mathis, and Sonny and Cher. But now we get Justin Timber-homo. Louis: A all gone awry! Brian: The classic films were of arts, the images were graceful, the stories smart. But now we get Matrix Revolution, Im sorry I this doesnt rhyme, but what the hell you Wachowski Brothers thinking?! Chorus: Lucky theres a guy, lucky theres a fella, sweeter than vanilla, as a piece of- Apple Pie! Chorus: He's a guy!
Lois: His smiles a delight. Chris: He lets me see the boobies on the sites. Peter! Meg: He bought me my cute hat. Brian: Yeah we have a talk about that. Chorus: that! And his hat!
Brian: He's mastered the arts. Stewie: He says, "Look out, Hiroshima!" then farts. (fart effect) Lois: He's loaded with appeal. Peter: And of all my titties are real. Have a feel! No thank you. Stewie: I it the office. Lois: The Brady Bunch has got Mike and pretty Laura Petrie has Van Dyke. But who around here could those loafers? Chorus: But a happy reply. Lucky there's a family guy. Lucky there's a man who can do all the thing that make us- Stewie: and Cry! Chorus: He's a Guy! He's a Family Guy!!!
Oh My! Thank you very much! What a welcome. Peter: I am gunna buy and every one of you a beer after the show. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm for Christs sake, I'm not serious. Thats expensive! Look, just the fact that I came up with the should you I'm generous; I shouldnt actually to spend any money. Meg: Uh, can we turn the down a bit? Yeah, it is a little bright. Stewie: You know Brian, I- I just something. With light shining on you from that angle, you look a lot Jamie Farr. Yeah, you've told me that before and uh, it's interesting, because I' thinking you a lot like Britney Spears. Really?! How so? Brian: Well, you- you got that thing going on with your Britney does. You know where... You know how her eyes are just like a too far apart? Uh, a- a- almost like there was some immediate that should have been done but it was the south, so they didn't have the technology. Oh, I see. Mom! Lois: Yes Chris: I a wedgie. Lois: Chris, honey, wait the intermission. Then you can fix it. Well, we got a lot of fun stuff lined up here tonight. We got music, we got comedy, we got behind the scenes from the show. Lois: right! For example, not a lot of people know this, but in one episode of the show was a flashback of Brian when he was a puppy. Now, couldnt find a puppy who looked like him, so actually built a dog suit for the scene, and the of inside the suit was Raven-Symon, who was Olivia on the show. Fascinating bit of trivia. All right, okay, I got one for ya. You know the sound stage where we shoot Guy is the same stage where shot the Golden Girls in the 80s, right? Now one of the stage hands was me a- a pretty intense story. I guess there was one night when they all ready to shoot, and uh, the audience was waiting. And uh, nobody could Bea Arthur. So freaking out and uh, then one of the producers runs in and "Cancel the show tonight. Bea Arthurs in jail! Oh My God! Peter: Yeah. Apparently she had a too much to drink before the show and uh, they found her on the street corner, exposing her to traffic. Oh My God! Meg: Ew! Disgusting! Can you believe that? Brian: Wait a minute. How the hell can Bea Arthur have a Eh, special permit. Stewie: I say, what is it with these perfectly normal people in civilian life and then they out to Hollywood and just go fucking berserk. Brian: You watch your language, kid. Stewie: Oh, its a record for Gods sake. Lets cut a bit. Nipples! Hehe. Stewie: example. Although I must say I am amazed at the you can get away with on television these days. I- I was watching Law and the other night and I swear to god, I someone use the word balls. And I thought to myself, "My God, that- that Dick Wolf just he damn well pleases, doesnt he? Bringing words like into Americas living rooms. I wonder how he'd like it if I walked into his living room and use the balls. Uh... I think that would be breaking an entering. You know, I am so glad they allowed us to Stewie this evening. The show we did we had to leave him at home. did'nt allow babies in the theater. Brian: Well of course. wanted to be able to enjoy the show Stewie: I am a show you lack-witted head! Ugh! Oh what a night was. My babysitter was a total bitch. Stewie! Thats very rude. Especially since your babysitter is tonight. and gentlemen, Ms. Hailey Duff. Hailey Hi Mr. and Mrs. Griffin Peter: How are ya, Lois: So was it that bad babysitting Stewie? Duff: You want the truth? Well, okay. So you and Peter left for dinner, I- No. Wait a minute. Lets tell this right.
please.