"And now, And now, And now! Comes my part. This is the part I get to myself, to... Cleveland. All my hopes, fears, and desires, right here, now, in this section. I have in showbusiness for 10 years and time I to go back on the stage I this dream, I am trapped in an act, not of my own design, In this act, I the kind of I might have become, had I not with brains, talent and tits! Yes Ladies and Germs, in this, in this I demonstrate the kind of preformer I have become had I only been gorgeous tits, yes, here they are! Here thay are, You've read them in magazine, they were featured on the of life. 1st, 1954, 3 old baby with 38 inch chest. was something to behold! Ahh. Now, the name of the I play in my dream is 'Vicki Eydie', Vickie is definitely a lounge act, Vickie Eydie is not the kind who goes singing any old kind of song she to sing, you understand! No, this act, what can I it? It is a global revue, She does not, of course, alone, no, She has hired a famous, singing trio! 'The Eat-ettes' And if I am not mistake, here comes this mimette, minute!! they come! Dazzling Eat-ettes' Oh God! to my nightmare!"
"And now! The 'Plywood high atop Celebrity Motor Lodge' in gorgeous downtown Hills' is to present, The song stylings of the internationnally Miss Eydie! In her internationnally the world Revue' entitled 'Around the in 80 ways!' And now, Vicki!!
Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Around the Ive searched for you, I on when hope was gone to a rendezvous.
Say, I somewhere, sometime, somehow, you look at me and I would see the youre smiling now. OOH!
It have been in County Down, or in New York, or Gay Paree, or even, Town.
Hey! What difference it make? No will I go all around the world, for I found my world in, Y-O-U, HEY! Ha!
"What difference it make!? Jokers, and Smokers! How are you tonight!? are you tonight!? And how your sign say!? Have we got a treat in store for you tonight! We're gonna take you on a little around this glorious little globe of ours! we feature songs of many colors, and of lots of nations And the stop on this whirl-wind cavelcade. The exotic East! With a veritable tune. we go, Girls! OW!"
Istanbul was Now it's Istanbul, not Been a long time gone, Now it's Turkish on a moonlit night
Every gal in Lives in Istanbul, not So if you've got a date in She'll be in Istanbul
Even old New Was New Amsterdam, Hey! Why they it I can't say just liked it better that way
Nya, Nya, Nya! Sing the Girls! Nya, Nya, Nya! Sing out, out. Nya, Nya, Nya!... Wow!
So take me to Constantinople No, you can't go back to Been a long gone, Constantinople Why did Constantinople get the That's nobody's but the Turks' HEY!!!
"But no to linger! No to linger! Vicki gets preposterous on the bosperous! But as I say no to linger in the empire, For I by the sound of the castanettes, we are off, off, off, off we are off. Off to Br-r-r-r-r-r-r-azil! a-Br-r-razil. Brazil... Land of hope, of hemp. Hmmmm. I wrote this next musical for the at 'Piranha Del-Rey' I did not win that festival, OtherwiseIi would not be in, er... Cleveland! But no, nevermind! For me, this song up the essence of the experience. See if you don't understand I mean"
It was Fiesta. moonlight. It was, it was and he me so tight. I thought, I I was dying. But I had the clap. It was and I had the clap.
to do in Rio, when you can't even I had a bum time, it was fiesta. I-I-I-I-I-I-I!
When he turned the down low he said, "Oh Miss Vickie, I, I you so."
I was a forced, to remove myself from his lap. You care at Fiesta. You beware, beware at Fiesta. Oh there at Fiesta, he give you the . . .
[ Clapping to ]
Wa-hoo, Hey!
"Catchy, Yeah, I thought enjoy that! But no time to linger in America, For I by the sound of the slide guitar, it is time for us to move along, Yes, Ladies and gentlemen, we are on our way, and just in for Eydie's South Sea Adventure! Ahh, the Sea's, The South Sea's, where I peace, contentment and many tropical I had not known before! Yes, Ladies and Gentlemen, Vicki eats papaya! We are about to recreatefor you, one the beautiful and of all the native rituals for you and here are beautiful and sensual native's right now!"
In the sea island of Tawanga, I let go. What a beautiful for romancing, and the palms too and fro. And the men are so handsome, they you really know, what it's like not to be left as they soft and low.
If you're up from having lack of shaking up. If you're up from having lack of shaking up. If you're cracking up, why you pack it up? You got to find yourself a crazy kind of
Lack-of-nookies-got-me! Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya! You got to yourself a crazy kind of love!
took me down by the waterfall, they me their island ways. They gave me flowers, and good island lays. I about what was right, and I learned what was bad. But now I am the of the island, and they make me feel glad.
If you're cracking up from having of shaking up. If you're cracking up having lack of shaking up. If you're cracking up, why you pack it up? You got to yourself a crazy kind of love.
Lack-of-nookies-got-me! Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya! You got to find a crazy kind of love! That's You got to yourself a crazy kind of love! That's You got to yourself a crazy kind of love!
"Here we go!!! Time to along with Vicki Eydie! Don't you sing along with Vicki Eydie!? Yeah! Ok, music! I sing first, you, Get it? Got it? Good!"
If you're cracking up from lack of shacking up! If you're cracking up having lack-- God, what a quiet, little group. a quiet, tasteful little group! Now that the are on, I see just how quiet and you really are! try it again! Me first, you, loud!
If you're cracking up from having lack of up! IF YOU'RE CRACKING UP FROM LACK OF SHACKING UP! Wonderful! If you're cracking up having lack of shacking up! IF YOU'RE CRACKING UP FROM HAVING LACK OF UP! If you're up... IF YOU'RE UP! Why don't you it up! WHY YOU PACK IT UP! And yourself a crazy kind of Love! AND YOURSELF A CRAZY KIND OF LOVE!
"Now here comes the part. Now, many Caucasians a lot of diffulty wrapping their little mouths around parts. this is real Polynesian, you understand!"
Ahh-Way Lack of got me I see it has! LACK OF NOOKIES GOT ME! phrase! Ahh-Way, on I want to lay you. AHH-WAY, COME ON I TO LAY YOU! Excellent! Excellent! Why better than we had hoped!
"Why, my me, do you think we can do it up to tempo!? Do you you can do it up to tempo!? YEAH! go! Up to for the little Mother-Fucker's! WE GO!
IF YOU'RE UP FROM HAVING LACK OF SHACKING UP! IF CRACKING UP FROM HAVING LACK OF SHACKING UP! IF YOU'RE CRACKING UP, WHY DON'T YOU IT UP! YOU GOT TO FIND A CRAZY KIND OF LOVE!
TWO-THREE-FOUR! AAH-WAY! OF NOOKIE'S GOT ME! AHH WAY! COME ON I LAY YA! YOU GOTTA FIND YOURSELF A CRAZY OF LOVE! RIGHT, YOU GOTTA FIND A CRAZY KIND OF LOVE! RIGHT, YOU GOTTA FIND A CRAZY KIND OF L-O-O-O-OVE!...
out of the woods, out of the dark, out of the night. Step the sun, step the light, open your eyes and will open, ahhh, open, ahhh, open, open, open, up.
Arnstein! Arnstein! Arnstein!
Hey! Come on along and to the of Broadway. The and boopa-doo. The of Broadway.
The band to go to town and goes crazy. You rock-a-bye baby 'round 'til everything hazy. Hush-a-bye, I'm gonna buy you and that, you hear daddy sing. Then baby goes home to her to all day.
night, baby. Good night. on his way. tight, oh, my baby. You tight. Let's call it a day.
to, the lullaby, of ol-gone, you know old. on along Broadway! yeah, brodway, yeah, broadway! The of Bro-o-o-oadway! Yow!