The Roommate From Hell

Welcome to Mirrielees Orientation
My names Nate and Ill be your RA for this year
Today well be moving into our dorms and building community
So go get your keys from the main office, come back
And get ready to meet your roommates, alright?

He was the roommate from Hell
He was the roommate from Hell

Satan was my roommate, so junior year was hell
He lacked social skills and had a pungent smell
When your roommate is the Devil it can be extremely whack
Putting posters on the wall of Trapt and Nickelback

Until the break of dawn hed be mutilating sheep
Its 4 A.M. Satan, can you please go to sleep?
I cant have girls over when the dorm smells like sterno
When did room 56 become Dantes inferno?

He likes death and destruction, I like radio and art
He likes holding down Christians and reading Jean-Paul Sartre
While Im going to class studying my notes
Hes eating baby fetuses and sacrificing goats

He tricks the freshman girls into eating apples
Holding black masses down at the campus chapel
Should have never moved in, wish I were dead
Should have found a place off campus on Craigs List instead

He was the roommate from Hell, his name is Lucifer
Someone call a priest and bring the crucifer
He was the roommate from Hell, leaves his pitchfork in my bed
Im in a satanic panic 'cause he is messing with my head

He was the roommate from Hell, his name is Lucifer
Someone call a priest and bring the crucifer
He was the roommate from Hell, leaves his pitchfork in my bed
Im in a satanic panic 'cause he is messing with my head

Yo, pass that giant balloon of helium over here, yo
Okay but, wait, Satan, thats too much

Boy you need a bitch slap, not my fault were mismatched
You geek out over Beakmans world, I dig on world of Witchcraft
Youre thinking that Im riff raff, huffing on a dishrag
I am just a player, play Slayer then I kick back

I know I reek of sulfur, leave the shower curtain open
I come home drunk, make crank calls to Queens and then Hoboken
But college is like Salem, all these bitches be so smokin
If youre thinking that Im leaving that Im thinking that youre jokin'

I gotta share my bunk with this post punk chump
Calls this place a dumb says, Youve been through my stuff
I wish youd go to Hell I say, "Hey thats where Im from"
Blasts Death Cab and Devo hes too emo to get crunk

I was a very nice boss down in Paradise Lost
I had very nice bling 'cause my minions mind floss
To hell with college, this is knowledge at a very high cost
Gotta go do some blow with that ho Kate Moss

He was the roommate from Hell, his name is Lucifer
Someone call a priest and bring the crucifer
He was the roommate from Hell, leaves his pitchfork in my bed
Im in a satanic panic 'cause he is messing with my head

Lars youre causing laughter when you call yourself a rapper dude
How many Dead Milkman albums are there named after you?
I always got beer, I always got weed
Best roommate ever if youd ever ask me