Internet Relationships (Are Not Real Relationships)

Internet relationships are not real
Your heart, people steal but identities conceal
So heres a tale of warning for girls and boys
Laptop computers can be dangerous toys

In the chat room, I inspect
Whos here tonight? ASL check
Im 20/F from the UK
Send me an IM and Ill make your day

Im twenty-two and my name is Daryl
Nice to meet you, Daryl, my name is Carol
What do you like Carol? I like to go to shows
I collect comic books and vintage clothes

What do you like? I like to skate
I play rock guitar but Im not that great
I like to go on dates and I like to stay up late
I live in San Francisco and hangin' on the Haight

Do you like the Golden Gate? I did when I was eight
Maybe I can come and visit? Maybe you should wait
See, Im really forty-seven, I have kids and a wife
I weigh three hundred pounds and I hate my life

Are you serious? Yes, well, Ive got a secret too
Im not twenty, Im really thirty-two
I only have one leg and I like to sniff glue
You lied to me, Carol
Well, you lied to me too

Its not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

Bob went on MySpace for hours a day
Talking to girls from Moscow to L.A.
But people can surprise you from behind a screen
Listen to this verse and youll see what I mean

Hi, Im Susie, I like your profile
I checked out your pics and I like your style
Sounds good, Susie, Ill be your friend
We can write each other again and again

Comment on my pics and post on my page
Join my groups and guess my age
You must be eighteen, how could you not?
You cant be in high school, youre just too hot

Let me send you pics for your personal collection
I hope they inspire you and give you a smile
Susie sent Bob pics that were borderline obscene
Cops showed up at his door, she was only sixteen

Its not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

If you dont believe, us heres a final story
About a boy named Marcus and his online girlfriend Lorie
Behind the monitor truth is hidden from your eyes
Marcus didnt know but he was in for a surprise

Weve been dating for a while but lets cut to the chase
I dont know what you look like and I wanna see your face
But what does it matter? You know who I am inside
What if youre not a woman and this whole time you lied?

You got me there, Im not really a female
Im a guy who pretends to be a girl through email
So this is why its bad to meet women online
Living life behind the screen is a total waste of time

Check online relationships
Internet girl, Internet relationship
Fresh, [Incomprehensible] physician
[Incomprehensible] MC Lars
Fresh, fresh

Its not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

Its not normal to have an Internet girlfriend
Online relationships are just pretend
Unplug your heart, upgrade your system
Get, get off the Internet

Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships
Online relationships, online relationships