The Pirates Who Don't Anything

We are the pirates who don't do anything,
we just stay at home, and lie around.
And if you ask us, to do anything,
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.

Well I've never been to Greenland,
and I've never been to Denver,
and I've never buried treasure in St. Louie or St. Paul.
And I've never been to Moscow,
and I've never been to Tampa,
and I've never been to Boston in the fall.

Cause we are the pirates who don't do anything,
we just stay at home, and lie around,
and if you ask us, to do anything
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.

And I've never hoist the main sail,
and I've never swabbed the poop deck,
and I've never veered starboard, cause I've never sailed at all.
And I've never walked the gang plank,
and I've never owned a parrot...
And I've never been to Boston in the fall

Cause we are the pirates who don't do anything,
we just stay at home, and lie around,
and if you ask us, to do anything,
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.

I've never plucked a rooster,
and I am not too good at ping-pong,
and I've never thrown my mashed potatoes up against the wall.
And I've never kissed a chipmunk,
and I've never gotten head lice,
and I have never been to Boston in the fall.

(Pirate Captain's Log ..... 2002
Who be this band Relient K,
and why they be so full of contradictions?)

We don't know what he did
but we're down with captain kidd
we don't wake up before lunch
but we all eat captain crunch
we don't smoke, we don't chew
we watch captain kangaroo.

And I've never licked a spark plug
and I've never sniffed a stink bug
and I've never painted daisies on a big red rubber ball
and I've never bathed in yogurt
and I dont look good in leggings
and I've never been to boston in the fall

(Ladies and gentlemen, let's give 'em a big hand!)
We are the pirates who don't do anything,
we just stay at home, and lie around.
And if you ask us, to do anything,
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.

We are the pirates who don't do anything
we just stay at home, and lie around
and if you ask us, to do anything
we'll just tell you, we don't do anything.