The Meek Shall Inherit

Seymour Krelbourne, so finally we meet you
This is an occasion, let's toast it, up yours, relax
Canape? Cigarette? let's talk turkey, sign here
And we'll book you on lecturing tours

Yes darlin' we're sending photographer's Thursday
So, get the plant ready, and wear a clean shirt
Just sign this release, need a pen, aren't you thrilled?
It's the cover of Life Magazine, dessert ?

I'm telling you son, it's a cinch to get ratings
The title is Marvin's, the concept is mine
The first weekly gardening show on a network
And you're gonna host it, you lucky kid, sign

They say the meek shall inherit, you know the book doesn't lie
It's not a question of merit, it's not demand and supply
They say the meek gonna get it and you're a meek little guy
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to 'em, by and by

My future's starting, I've got to let it
Stick with that plant and gee, my bank account will thrive
What am I saying? No way, forget it
It's much too dangerous to keep that plant alive

I take these offers that means more killing
Who knew success would come with messy nasty strings
I sign these contracts that means I'm willing
To keep on doing bloody, awful, evil things

No, no, there's only so far you can bend
No, no, this nightmare must come to an end
No, no, you've got no alternative, Seymour, old boy
Though it means you'll be broke again and unemployed
It's the only solution, it can't be avoided
The vegetable must be destroyed

But then there's Audrey, lovely Audrey
If life were tawdry and impoverished as before
She might not like me, she might not want me
Without my plant, she might not love me anymore

They say the meek shall inherit
(Where do I sign?)
You know the book doesn't lie
(Right on the line)

It's not a question of merit
(That'll do fine)
It's not demand and supply
(This one is mine)

You'll make a fortune, we swear it
(What could go wrong?)
If on this fact you rely
Bye-bye, so-long

You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them
You know the meek are gonna get what's comin' to them
By and by