Dentist!

[SCRIVELLO]
When I was young and just a bad little kid
My momma noticed funny things I did
Like shootin' puppies with a B B gun

I'd poison guppies, and when I was done
I'd find a pussy cat and bash its head
That's when my momma said

(What did she say?)
She said "My boy, I think someday
You'll find a way to make your natural tendencies pay"

You'll be a dentist
(Be a dentist)
You have a talent for causing things pain
(Pain)
Son, be a dentist
(Son, be a dentist)
People will pay you to be inhumane
(Inhumane)

Your temperament's wrong for the priesthood
And teaching would suit you still less
Son, be a dentist you'll be a success

[GIRLS]
Here he is folks, the leader of the plaque!
Watch him suck up that gas, oh my God
He is a dentist and he'll never ever be any good
Who wants their teeth done by the Marquis De Sade?

[PATIENT]
Oh, that hurts, wait, I'm not numb

[SCRIVELLO]
Ehh, shut up, open wide, here I come

I am your dentist
(Goodness Gracious)
And I enjoy the career that I picked
(Love it)
I am your dentist
(Fitting braces)
And I get off on the pain I inflict
(You really love it)

I thrill when I drill a bicuspid
(Ooh, bicuspid)
It's swell, though they tell me I'm maladjusted
(Dentist)
And though it may 'cause my patients distress
(Distress)

Somewhere, somewhere in heaven above me
I know that my momma's proud of me
Oh, momma
'Cause I'm a dentist and a success

Say aah
(Ahh)
Say aah
(Ahh)
Say ahh
(Ahh)
Now spit