The Lamest Place In The World

Patrice:
Down the road, there's a dairy queen
Up the block, there's a Wall-mart
Theres a place you can accessorize your pets
A school, a tree, a couple of churches
And no matter how hard anybody searches
Thats about as thrilling as this dumb-ass village gets

Its the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
So don't disappear
Its the lamest place in the world
But Im pretty sure
Its not as lame as it was before
Now that youre here

Forty miles to the nearest river
Sixty miles to the airport
When we plan our escape, thats where were going to have to be
Its a shame, its a sham, its a terrible pity
You got dragged away from New York City
Its major suck for you but its amazing luck for me

Its the lamest place in the world
But it just got a little bit better
Im happy to say
Its the lamest place in the world

Your completely exotic
Intellectual neurotic
You would never have a shot except
You've found the perfect guide
And though I don't really know you
I can hardly wait to show you

Every fake and freak
Every fool and clown
Since the Chippewa settled this stupid town
Let'em laugh
They wont keep me down
With you by my side

And it just got a little bit better
Amazing but true
Yes, the lamest place in the world
Has lots of flaws
But maybe it'll be fine because
It brought me to you