All Hail The Brain/ Terminal Illness

All:
Brain's gonna do it.
Brain's gonna do it.
Friday night,
the Brain's gonna do it.
Friday night,
the Brain's gonna do it.
Friday night,
the Brain's gonna do it.
We're going to the mall and the Brain's gonna get us in, to the movie
The Blood Master.
The Blood Master.
Friday night
the Blood Master
Friday night,
Friday night,
the Brain's gonna do it!

Evan:
I have a plan.
I have a plan.
Possibly I think I have a plan.
It'll take a lot of work. It'll take a lot of luck
but when it all comes through,
they'll say;

"All hail the Brain!
He does what no mere mortal can!
He's the man!
Evan Goldman!"

"All hail the Brain!
He did what no one else could do!
Saw us through, saved the day!"

And all I have to do is;
Wait till Mom goes to sleep,
sneak the licences from the wallet in her purse,
and make a colored Xerox, laminate it.
Then put the license, back in the wallet in her purse.
Then find the dress she wore in the picture on the license that I copied and I laminated.
Wear the dress, get a wig, show the licences, buy the tickets.
What could go wrong?

All:
Brett's gonna do it
Brett's gonna do it
Friday night
Brett's gonna do it
Friday night
At the Blood Master
Brett's gonna do the tongue with Kendra
Friday night at the movie in the mall
And the Brain's gonna get us in

Evan:
I have a plan!
A better a plan!
Actually, an almost perfect plan.
It sounds absolutely nuts. It'll take a lot of guts.
But when it all comes through,
they'll say;

"All hail the Brain!
Give that Bar Mitzvah boy a hand!
Ain't he grand?
Ain't he great?"
And all I have to do is;

Go that day to the movie theater
break into the projection room
Steal the reel of film for the Blood Master and take it in the hall where they're showing Bambi.
Switch the reels, leave the theater, tell the guys we're gonna go see Bambi!
What could go wrong?

Brett:
Hey, Brain, did you set up my date for Friday?

Evan:
Date?

Brett:
With Kendra!

Evan:
Date? Date! Archie, I have major news!
I have a plan!
I have a plan!
So you and Kendra can go out on Friday night!

Archie:
Ooh!

Evan:
I need help though so stay calm.
You need to go talk to my mom,
and it'll all come true,
because

No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness.
Take it from me, it's a sure guarantee of success.
Listen I'm not making fun of your terminal illness.
But you hold the secret to getting my mom to say "yes."

So talk to my mom, and get her to buy, the tickets, we need to obtain.
Brett gets his movie.
I get the credit.
And you get your date!
So who could complain?
Except for you because you dying
BUT

No one says no to a boy with a terminal illness.
Who could refuse when you shuffle your shoes and say, "please?"
Use all the tricks you learned in the cradle.
Yyou don't need to lay it on thick with a ladle,
'Cause no one says no to a boy with a fatal disease.

Archie:
I can do this.

Evan:
I know you can!

La la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.

Archie:
Hello Mrs.Goldman, I hate to bother you, but I was strolling through the neighborhood...

Evan:
La la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.

Archie:
And it wouldn't be so bad if it wasn't my birthday on Friday, but the insurance...

Evan:
La la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.

Archie:
I could always pay you for the tickets if I don't get my medicines next month.

Evan:
La la la la, la la la, la la la la la la.

Archie:
And you know, I've always had this, kinship, with the Jewish people.

Evan:
Out of the blue,
a thought comes to you,
like sun, coming out, from rain.
And after the stress,
my mother says-

Archie:
Yes!

Evan:
Yes!

Archie and Evan:
We're all set for Friday!
So who could complain?

Archie:
Except for you because you're Jewish and you always complain.

Evan:
It's true!

Evan and Archie:
But no one says no to a boy with a terminal illness.
Ask for a day at the mall or a trip to Belize.
Nothing's to hard or a quest unendurable,
as long as you're sure you're completely incurable
No one says no to a boy-with a fatal disease!

Brett:
All hail the Brain!

All:
All hail the Brain!

Brett;
I never thought he'd take the bait.
This is great,
Evan Goldman!

All:
Evan Goldman!
All hail the Brain!

Evan:
I did what no one else could do.
Tell me who, could complain.

Brett:
All hail the Brain!

All:
All hail the Brain!

Evan:
All hail the Brain!

All:
All hail the Brain!
All hail the Brain!