"I grew up in a little in Georgia, Columbus Georgia, to be precise. Actually, in the Of Us' section, we said one of us ran from home at fourteen, and that was me. I was tortured in school, I was the fag. People were calling me 'faggot' before I even knew that word meant. Then I went and found out what it meant, and was 'Oh, there's a name for it?' At the time, I didn't find it amusing. I like to be honest it now, because I've expended an incredible of energy over the past couple of... years, actually over my life, trying to that that never happened to me, that that's not of my life, that always been this cool. Huh, God. So, what I'd like to do know actually is reach back to those that I have tried so to wipe out of my life, and share with you a fantasy from that period... it's more of a nightmare. I was so and, and confused, and lonely and miserable that most of my during that period of sort of ran like the movie 'Carrie.'" It was Homecoming at my high school Everyone was there, it was bodaciously I was so excited, why, I almost wet my 'Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming She so pretty in pink chiffon Riding the float her tiara on Holding humongous bouquet in her hand She straight out of Disneyland! Well, it was just like the Cinderella ride - it was an 'E' ticket! The crowd was cheering, was stoked You know, I think it was like the school was totally coked out or something. The band was playing When all of a sudden, somebody "Oh my God, out! The Homecoming Queen's got a GUN!!!" Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! smiling, and wiping her gun Picking off one by one Oh no! pompons just blew to bits My God, head just did the splits! My best friend is on a shooting Stop it, Debbie, embarrassing me! How could you do what you did - Are you a really bad period? Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! (Stop it, Debbie, making a mess Powder burns all your dress Bloody bodies all the quad have thought she'd be packing a rod!) An hour later, you know, the cops had Oh, but by the entire glee club had died - no big loss You wouldn't believe what they to stop Tear gas, guns... even a chopper! "Throw down your gun and tiara and out of that float!" Debbie listen to what the cop said, No, she aimed and fired, and now the teacher's dead! Oh, really sad, but, you know, it's kind of a relief, You see, we had this big test coming up week... Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! (Debbie's having a blast! She's half of the class!) The cops fired a shot and she dove off that float I tried to "Duck!" but it stuck in my throat She hit the and did a flip; it was real acrobatic But I was crying so hard, I work my Instamatic. I ran to Debbie, I had to find out, like, What made her do it, why'd she out? I saw the had grazed her... right about here. I then... the end was near. And I... As... Do y'all So as the SWAT team and a gaggle of hall escorted her from the field, I ran alongside, and I to her, "Debbie! Debbie, why did you do it? Why did you do it?" She smiled at me and said, "I did it for Lonnie." "Lonnie? Debbie, who's There aren't even any boys in our school Lonnie. There is Ms. Wilson, the shop teacher.... Oh my God, Debbie is that why you spent all that time makin' tacky birdhouses instead of being in the Future Homemakers of with me?" It was too late for answers. And as the SWAT roared off into the sunset, I, I the gruesome scene before me. The ruins of that chicken-wire-and-crepe-paper 'V-for-Victory' that the Pep Club had worked so hard on... And then it hit me. still Homecoming Week. We can't have a Game without a Homecoming Queen. It was then I knew I must do. So I retrieved her tiara from it had fallen and I placed it lovingly my head, willing to assume the awesome burden of Homecoming Queen, eager to rule a firm, yet sensitive hand... All right, boys, it for me! Everybody scream, the Queen is a queen! He's a queen, a queen, he's a queen, he's a queen. Ahhhhhhh, a big old queen!