"I up in a little town in Georgia, Columbus Georgia, to be precise. Actually, in the Of Us' section, we said one of us ran away home at fourteen, and that was me. I was tortured in school, I was the class fag. People were me 'faggot' before I even knew that word meant. Then I went and found out what it meant, and was like 'Oh, a name for it?' At the time, I find it amusing. I like to be honest about it now, because I've an incredible amount of energy over the past of... years, actually over my life, trying to pretend that that never happened to me, that's not part of my life, that I've been this cool. Huh, God. So, what I'd like to do know actually is reach back to those roots that I tried so to wipe out of my life, and share with you a fantasy from period... it's more of a nightmare. I was so angry and, and confused, and lonely and that most of my fantasies during that period of time sort of ran like the 'Carrie.'" It was Homecoming Night at my school Everyone was there, it was cool I was so excited, why, I wet my jeans 'Cause my best Debbie was Homecoming Queen She so pretty in pink chiffon Riding the float with her on Holding humongous bouquet in her hand She straight out of Disneyland! Well, it was just the Cinderella ride - it was definitely an 'E' ticket! The was cheering, everyone was stoked You know, I think it was like the whole school was totally out or something. The was playing 'Evergreen' When all of a sudden, somebody "Oh my God, out! The Homecoming Queen's got a GUN!!!" run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! Debbie's smiling, and her gun off cheerleaders one by one Oh no! Muffy's just blew to bits My God, head just did the splits! My best friend is on a shooting it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me! How you do what you just did - Are you having a really bad Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! (Stop it, Debbie, making a mess burns all over your dress Bloody bodies all the quad Who'd thought she'd be packing a rod!) An hour later, you know, the cops had Oh, but by then the glee club had died - no big loss You wouldn't believe what they to stop Tear gas, guns... even a chopper! "Throw down your gun and tiara and out of that float!" didn't listen to what the cop said, No, she aimed and fired, and now the teacher's dead! Oh, it's sad, but, you know, it's kind of a relief, You see, we had this big test up next week... Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! (Debbie's having a blast! She's half of the class!) The cops fired a warning shot and she dove off float I to scream "Duck!" but it stuck in my throat She hit the ground and did a flip; it was acrobatic But I was crying so hard, I couldn't my Instamatic. I ran to Debbie, I had to find out, like, What made her do it, she freak out? I saw the bullet had grazed her... about here. I then... the end was near. And I... As... Do mind? So as the SWAT and a gaggle of hall monitors escorted her from the field, I ran alongside, and I to her, "Debbie! Debbie, why did you do it? Why did you do it?" She smiled at me and said, "I did it for Lonnie." "Lonnie? Debbie, who's There aren't any boys in our school named Lonnie. There is Ms. Wilson, the shop teacher.... Oh my God, Debbie is that why you all that time makin' those tacky birdhouses instead of being in the Future of America with me?" It was too late for answers. And as the SWAT team off into the sunset, I, I surveyed the gruesome before me. The ruins of that beautiful 'V-for-Victory' that the Pep Club had worked so hard on... And then it hit me. still Homecoming Week. We can't a Homecoming Game without a Queen. It was then I knew what I must do. So I retrieved her tiara from where it had fallen and I it lovingly upon my head, willing to assume the burden of Homecoming Queen, eager to rule with a firm, yet hand... All right, boys, it for me! Everybody scream, the Queen is a queen! He's a queen, a queen, he's a queen, he's a queen. Ahhhhhhh, a big old queen!