"I grew up in a little town in Georgia, Georgia, to be precise. Actually, in the 'One Of Us' section, we one of us ran from home at fourteen, and that was me. I was tortured in school, I was the class fag. People were me 'faggot' before I even knew what that word meant. Then I went and out it meant, and was like 'Oh, there's a name for it?' At the time, I didn't find it amusing. I like to be about it now, because expended an incredible amount of energy over the past of... years, actually over my life, trying to pretend that that never happened to me, that that's not part of my life, I've always this cool. Huh, God. So, what I'd like to do know actually is reach back to roots that I have tried so desperately to out of my life, and share with you a fantasy from that period... more of a nightmare. I was so angry and, and confused, and lonely and miserable that most of my during that period of sort of ran like the movie 'Carrie.'" It was Homecoming Night at my school Everyone was there, it was cool I was so excited, why, I wet my jeans 'Cause my best friend Debbie was Homecoming She looked so in pink chiffon Riding the float her tiara on Holding humongous bouquet in her hand She straight out of Disneyland! Well, it was just like the ride - it was definitely an 'E' ticket! The crowd was cheering, was stoked You know, I think it was like the whole school was coked out or something. The band was 'Evergreen' all of a sudden, somebody screamed: "Oh my God, look out! The Homecoming got a GUN!!!" Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Debbie's smiling, and her gun off cheerleaders one by one Oh no! Muffy's pompons just blew to My God, head just did the splits! My best is on a shooting spree it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me! How could you do you just did - Are you a really bad period? run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! (Stop it, Debbie, making a mess Powder burns all your dress Bloody bodies all over the have thought she'd be packing a rod!) An later, you know, the cops had arrived Oh, but by then the entire glee club had - no big loss You believe what they brought to stop Tear gas, guns... even a chopper! "Throw your gun and tiara and come out of that float!" Debbie listen to what the cop said, No, she aimed and fired, and now the teacher's dead! Oh, really sad, but, you know, it's kind of a relief, You see, we had this big test coming up week... run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! (Debbie's really a blast! She's wasted of the class!) The cops fired a warning and she dove off that float I tried to scream "Duck!" but it in my throat She hit the and did a flip; it was real acrobatic But I was crying so hard, I couldn't my Instamatic. I ran to Debbie, I had to find out, like, What made her do it, she freak out? I saw the bullet had grazed her... right here. I then... the end was near. And I... As... Do y'all So as the SWAT and a gaggle of hall monitors escorted her from the field, I ran alongside, and I to her, "Debbie! Debbie, why did you do it? Why did you do it?" She just at me and said, "I did it for Lonnie." "Lonnie? Debbie, Lonnie? There even any boys in our school named Lonnie. There is Ms. Wilson, the wood shop teacher.... Oh my God, is that why you spent all that time makin' those tacky instead of being in the Homemakers of America with me?" It was too late for answers. And as the SWAT roared off into the sunset, I, I the gruesome scene before me. The ruins of that chicken-wire-and-crepe-paper 'V-for-Victory' that the Pep Club had worked so on... And then it hit me. It's still Homecoming Week. We can't have a Game without a Homecoming Queen. It was then I what I must do. So I retrieved her from where it had fallen and I placed it lovingly my head, willing to assume the awesome burden of Homecoming Queen, eager to rule a firm, yet sensitive hand... All right, boys, it for me! scream, the Homecoming Queen is a queen! He's a queen, he's a queen, a queen, he's a queen. Ahhhhhhh, a big old queen!