"I grew up in a little in Georgia, Columbus Georgia, to be precise. Actually, in the Of Us' section, we said one of us ran away from home at fourteen, and was me. I was tortured in school, I was the class fag. People were calling me before I even knew what that word meant. Then I and found out what it meant, and was like 'Oh, there's a name for At the time, I didn't it amusing. I like to be honest about it now, because I've expended an incredible amount of energy the past couple of... years, actually my life, trying to pretend that that never to me, that that's not part of my life, that I've been this cool. Huh, God. So, what I'd like to do know actually is reach back to those that I have tried so desperately to wipe out of my life, and with you a fantasy from that period... it's more of a nightmare. I was so and, and confused, and lonely and that most of my fantasies during that period of time sort of ran like the 'Carrie.'" It was Night at my high school Everyone was there, it was bodaciously I was so excited, why, I almost wet my 'Cause my best friend was Homecoming Queen She looked so pretty in pink the float with her tiara on Holding this humongous in her hand She looked out of Disneyland! Well, it was just like the ride - it was definitely an 'E' ticket! The crowd was cheering, everyone was You know, I think it was like the whole school was coked out or something. The was playing 'Evergreen' When all of a sudden, screamed: "Oh my God, look out! The Queen's got a GUN!!!" Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! Debbie's smiling, and her gun Picking off one by one Oh no! pompons just blew to bits My God, head just did the splits! My best friend is on a spree it, Debbie, you're embarrassing me! How could you do you just did - Are you having a really bad Everybody run, the Homecoming got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! (Stop it, Debbie, you're a mess Powder all over your dress Bloody all over the quad have thought she'd be packing a rod!) An hour later, you know, the had arrived Oh, but by then the entire glee club had died - no big You wouldn't believe what they brought to Tear gas, machine guns... a chopper! "Throw down gun and tiara and come out of that float!" Debbie didn't listen to the cop said, No, she aimed and fired, and now the teacher's dead! Oh, it's really sad, but, you know, kind of a relief, You see, we had big test coming up next week... Everybody run, the Queen's got a gun! run, the Homecoming Queen's got a gun! (Debbie's having a blast! wasted half of the class!) The cops a warning shot and she dove off that float I tried to scream "Duck!" but it stuck in my She hit the ground and did a flip; it was real But I was crying so hard, I couldn't my Instamatic. I ran to Debbie, I had to find out, like, What made her do it, why'd she out? I saw the bullet had her... right about here. I then... the end was near. And I... As... Do mind? So as the SWAT team and a gaggle of hall escorted her from the field, I ran alongside, and I to her, "Debbie! Debbie, why did you do it? Why did you do it?" She smiled at me and said, "I did it for Lonnie." "Lonnie? Debbie, Lonnie? aren't even any boys in our school named Lonnie. There is Ms. Wilson, the shop teacher.... Oh my God, Debbie is that why you all that time makin' those tacky birdhouses instead of being in the Future Homemakers of with me?" It was too for answers. And as the SWAT team roared off into the sunset, I, I surveyed the gruesome scene before me. The of that chicken-wire-and-crepe-paper 'V-for-Victory' that the Pep Club had so hard on... And then it hit me. It's still Homecoming Week. We can't a Homecoming Game without a Homecoming Queen. It was then I knew what I do. So I retrieved her tiara from where it had and I placed it lovingly upon my head, willing to the awesome burden of Homecoming Queen, eager to with a firm, yet sensitive hand... All right, boys, it for me! scream, the Homecoming Queen is a queen! He's a queen, he's a queen, a queen, he's a queen. Ahhhhhhh, a big old queen!