I am Adolfo Pirelli, da king of da Da barber of E buon giorno, good day, I blow you a And I da Pirelli I wish-a to who has-a da nerve-a To say my elixir is Who says this?
I do, I am Mr. Todd And I have opened a of Pirelli's Elixir And I say to you, it is nothing but an fraud from piss and ink
He's right, Better to throw your down the sewer Ladies and Pay no attention to that Who's to be the for a magnificent shave?
And furthermore, I have serviced no Yet I that I can shave a cheek And pull a tooth with ten times dexterity Than any mountebank
You see razors? The finest in England I lay them against pounds, you are no match for me You me, sir? Either accept my challenge Or yourself as a sham, bravo, bravo
Zees are indeed razors Instruments zees once seen Cannot be forgotten, and a fine extractor too You wager zees against five pounds, I do
You zis foolish man? Watch and see How he will regret his folly, five it is Friends, neighbors, for a free shave? Me, Mr. Todd, sir, and me, Mr. Todd, sir Over here, me a chair Boy, bring ze basins, bring ze Yes, sir,
Will Beadle Bamford be the as always to oblige My friends and Put it there, Ready, ready The fastest, smoothest is the winner
Now, signorini, signori, we mix a da But first a you gather around, signorini, You looking a man who had a Da to shave-a da Pope
Mr. Sweeney, so Oh, I you pardon me a lie, was a only a cardinal Nope, it was-a da
Perhaps, signorini, You like-a I tell-a, da story Of Isabella Da Queen Polan Whose was-a swollen
I it so nice from her mout' That-a to begin a screaming-a murder She's swoon-a with bliss An' was to shout all of 'em out
To da face, to pull a da toot' Require da and not a da brute For you slip, you nick da skin You da chin, you rip-a da lip a bit And da trut'
To da face or even a part Widout smart require da heart It take-a da art, I you a chart I starting in my yout'
To cut-a da hair, to da beard To make-a da bristle clean like a Dis is from early Da talent to me by God
It da skill, it take-a da brains It take-a da to take-a da pains It da pace, it take-a da grace The winner is Smooth as a arse
And now who's for a tooth Free charge Me, sir, me, sir, who else? No
sir, since there is no means To test the skill I claim the pounds To which he is entitled,
Wait, one moment, You, boy, get on that Me, Oh, not a tooth, sir I beg of you, I got a twinge Not the pain, I
You do now We see who is zee now Zis Mister Todd or zee great Ready, ready
To pull-a da widout-a da skill Can damage da Now da still an' if-a you slip You a bit, you hit da pit of it
Or chip-a da do and have-a to To pull-a da toot' widout-a da You leave-a da space all over da You try to widout-a da trace
Sometimes is da case you even-a To da clamp widout-a da cramp Wid all dat saliva, it could-a drive-a you
Don' mutter or you go to da gutter My touch is as as a butter-a cup I take-a da pains, I da art I use-a da brains, I give-a da I have-a da grace, I da race
Not a twinge of pain, not a The man's a bloody The winner, Mr. Sweeney Todd
Sir, I bow to a far defter than my own The pounds Here, sir, and may the Lord smile on you we meet again
Come, boy Signori, bellissime Buon giorno, buon a tutti