As I went home on Monday night as drunk as could be I saw a horse the door where my old horse should be Well, I called me and I said to her, Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that horse outside the door my old horse should be?
Ah, drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see a lovely sow that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've a hundred miles or more But a saddle on a sow sure I saw before
And as I went home on Tuesday night as as drunk could be I saw a behind the door where my old coat should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're you silly old fool, still you can not see That's a woolen blanket that me sent to me Well, it's many a day I've a hundred miles or more But buttons in a blanket sure I saw before
And as I home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a pipe up on the chair my old pipe should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns that pipe up on the chair my old pipe should be?
Ah, drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see That's a tin whistle that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day traveled a hundred miles or more But tobacco in a tin sure I never saw before
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk be I saw two beneath the bed where my old boots should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns them beneath the bed where my old boots should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you old fool, still you can not see They're two lovely Geranium pots me mother to me Well, it's many a day I've a hundred miles or more But laces in Geranium I never saw before
And as I went on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a head upon the bed my old head should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who that head upon the bed where my old head should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're you silly old fool, still you can not see That's a boy that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've a hundred miles or more But a boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before
And as I went on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns them hands upon breasts where my old hands should be?
Ah, drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see That's a lovely night gown me mother sent to me Well, many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more But fingers in a night gown I never saw before
As I went home on night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a thing inside her thing where my old should be Well, I me wife and I said to her, Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that thing inside thing where my old thing should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're you silly old fool, still you can not see That's nothing but a hammer that me sent to me Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or But a hammer with a head that I never saw before