As I went home on Monday night as drunk as could be I saw a horse outside the door where my old should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns that horse the door where my old horse should be?
Ah, drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see a lovely sow that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've traveled a miles or more But a saddle on a sow I never saw before
And as I home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a coat behind the door where my old coat be Well, I called me and I said to her, Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that coat behind the door my old coat should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, you can not see That's a woolen blanket that me sent to me Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred or more But buttons in a sure I never saw before
And as I home on Wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw a pipe up on the chair where my old pipe be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns that pipe up on the chair where my old pipe be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, you can not see That's a lovely tin whistle me mother sent to me Well, many a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more But tobacco in a tin whistle sure I never saw
And as I went home on Thursday night as drunk as could be I saw two beneath the bed where my old boots should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be?
Ah, you're drunk, drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see two lovely Geranium pots me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day traveled a hundred miles or more But laces in Geranium I never saw before
And as I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk be I saw a head upon the bed where my old head be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, Will you kindly to me Who owns that upon the bed where my old head should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, you can not see a baby boy that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've traveled a hundred or more But a baby boy with his on sure I never saw before
And as I home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old should be Well, I called me wife and I said to her, you kindly tell to me Who owns them hands your breasts where my old hands should be?
Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you old fool, still you can not see That's a lovely night gown that me sent to me Well, it's a day I've traveled a hundred miles or more But fingers in a gown sure I never saw before
As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk be I saw a inside her thing where my old thing should be Well, I me wife and I said to her, Will you kindly tell to me Who owns that thing inside your thing where my old thing be?
Ah, drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see nothing but a hammer that me mother sent to me Well, it's many a day I've traveled a miles or more But a with a head like that I never saw before