Redneck Games

Greetings yall
And welcome all you danged foreigners from other nations
Dear Lord be with our guests and prepare them
For the butt whopping they are about to receive

The Olympics in Georgia
God you know were gonna screw that up
I guarantee you
When they let those doves go at the opening ceremony
There are gonna be guys in the parking lot with shotguns

And we will not have a flame
That big without a pig on it, I guarantee
Some fat guy going
Danged good barbecue top of them stairs up there
They ain't got no hand rail be careful"

Of all the games that the rednecks play
Theres some crazy events
If you know about the redneck ways
Then it makes perfect sense

Hell the Olympic rings will be five old tires nailed together
See thats my fear, theyre gonna get the list of events
They gonna have no idea what half this stuff is suppose to be
Like for fencing, theyll be giving people bailing wire and sheet metal

There probably have to cancel water polo after
The first two or three horses drown
I tell you instead of discus throwing
Theyll be flinging Ford hubcaps

You cant blame them for the way they are
But you can sit back and grin
'Cause theyll do something thats so bizarre
Youll want to see it again

If you could ever get into their minds
Theres no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

And you know they havent even thought about it
But the river theyre having the kayak races
On is the same river they filmed deliverance at

That ought to add a whole degree of difficulty shouldn't it?
'Cause if Ned Batty couldn't make it down
That thing a French man in a pair of biker pants ain't got a chance

Be prepared to watch the wildest show
Making her out in the line
You may not see them bringing home the gold
But theyll sure make mama proud

If you could ever get inside their minds
Theres no telling what you might find
They just do things in a different way
All the games that the rednecks play

Hey Ed, I got a white one