Redneck 12 Days Of Christmas

Woo! Somebody done been to the WalMart
Man, this is the stuff I got for Christmas
Well you cleaned up, whatcha get?

5 flannel shirts, 4 big mud tires
3 shot gun shells, 2 huntin' dogs
And some parts to a Mustang GT

You got gypped, there's 12 days to Christmas!
I know that, I got it covered!
Look over there in the corner! That's yours too?
Yeah!

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets
Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation
8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman
6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells
2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Man, these ain't normal Christmas presents!
No, they're Redneck Gifts! Redneck gifts?
Yeah, like if you buy your wife earrings that double as fishin' lures
Or if you can burp the entire chorus to jingle bells
Perhaps if you think that the nut cracker
Is something you did off the high dive
Or if you've ever misspelled anything in Christmas lights
Or if you leave cold beer and pickled eggs for Santa Claus!
What's wrong with that?
I didn't say anything's wrong with it, it's hard to beat

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets
Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation
8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman
6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells
2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Well, you know, you can't really consider it a Christmas
Unless you go down to the penitentiary and visit your Momma
You're not listening to me, get the car key out of your ear
That's where the 9 years probation comes in
I'm gonna do it for you again, now listen

12 pack of bud, 11 wrestlin' tickets
Tin a' copenhagen, 9 years probation
8 table dancers, 7 packs of redman
6 cans of spam, 5 flannel shirts
4 big mud tires, 3 shot gun shells
2 huntin' dogs and some parts to a Mustang GT

Are you cryin'?
No, just my allergies
Happy Holidays everybody!