My Biggest Fan

She's the kind of girl
Who drools over every dumb pop idol
But I guess she gave my tunes a whirl
Now she's got an obsession almost homicidal

Chorus
My biggest fan
My biggest fan
Some super obsessed 13 year old girl
Who thinks I'm the sexiest man alive
And I think she's hoarding samples of my sperm
My biggest fan
My biggest fan

Stood outside my house once for 2 days straight
Wearing nothing but a bikini two piece
Which had a picture of us on a fancy date
And I kinda wonder when this all will cease

Chorus

Is the founder and president of my fan club
And has a shrine to me in her closet
Has she sacrificed anything in her bathtub?
You kinda wonder what causes this mindset

Chorus

Woke up in a unknown church wearing a suit
Walking next to this girl as she clutches me
While I rub my head from this pain that's quite acute
A preacher waits for us, so he can make his decree

Chorus

My biggest fa-an
My - big-gest - fa-an!