Mouthful Of Shit (country & Western Version)

Can't hear you 'cause your mouth's full of shit
Well I'm really back to basics right beside a bar
Choke the double trouble big one to the joker with the card
Good call
What's the crack, what's the damage done today
From the commons to the common a banana skin away
Throw it up, throw it out
Chuck a nightmare dart
Quiet
Compere on the mic turns turning to the court
Putting beef vol-au-vents across the Union Jack
Bolinger and Bitter says the colonies are back
Chorus: Hear ya, I can't hear ya, I can't hear ya, I can't hear ya
Can't hear you 'cause your mouth's full of shit
You think you're god's gift
You're a liar
I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, fire
(Repeat chorus)
Up your ronson
Take a tab
With a flash of Zippo light
Through the hip parade passing to the Polaroids right
The manic little rebel got a bottle in his hand
A rhyming manifesto and a butty from his mam
Local lad made bad with cowboy charm
Said he doesn't really mean every screw-'em-all barb
Pass the mic
Karaoke for the yesteryear stars
Time to weep into your beer 'til the fireworks start
(Repeat Chorus)
You think you're god's gift
You're a liar
I wouldn't piss on you if you were on fire, fire
(Repeat chorus)