Married Man

Ill be discreet.
I wont hiss at your wife when I see her,
and though Id love to be her,
shell never know it.

Ill take the pill.
I wont upset the boats youre rowin.
Carry on the way youre goin.
I wont blow it.

When baseballs on
you can turn my set louder.
You can rave all night
about your wifes clam chowder.
Im sure it will work out just right.
Dont mind being the candle
you sometimes light.
Married man,
yes you can.

Wont write this down.
Im not the type that keeps a diary.
I know when to be fiery,
or plain placid.

I wont look crushed
when you say your wife is pretty,
bright, and very witty.
Pass the acid.

I wont cry at all
when you walk right by me.
Id say you cant lose.
Youd be a fool. Come try me.
She and I can cover each mood.
One can be in heat while the others subdued.
Married sir,
me and her.

Wont call your club,
and Ill never drive thru Oyster Bay, dear.
I wont give you away, dear,
to your Bernice, love.

If you should die,
I wont attend the funeral service.
No need to look so nervous.
Rest in peace, love.

When Christmas comes,
Ill choose your gifts and wrap them.
When we make plans,
I wont scream when you scrap them.
There is nothing I wouldnt do.
Id be the perfect little mistress for you.
Grant my wish,
Married dish.