Jack Sparrow

Secretary:
Guys, Michael Bolton is here

Andy:
Oh, great! Send him in.

Michael Bolton:
Hey guys.

Andy, Akiva & Jorma:
Hi, thanks for coming!

Michael Bolton:
Sorry i'm late. I got caught up watching the Pirates of the Carribean Marathon. Have you
seen those things?

Andy:
Oh yeah, yeah, those are, those are great.

Michael Bolton:
Well, I checked out the track and I loved it. And I wrote you this big sexy hook I think
you're really gonna dig.

Andy:
Oh wow, that's great, awesome. You wanna, just lay it down?

Michael Bolton:
Boys, let's get to it.

Andy (whispering):
Here we go.

Andy:
Uh, Lonely Island, Michael Bolton (MB: Yeah!)

The night starts now.
Together on the track, the boys are back. (The night starts now)
The night starts now. Baby roll with us.
Chicks snapping at the neck when we rollin' up. (MB: Rollin' up)
Blow through the doors, ain't no holdin' up (MB: Yeah!)
Black card at the bar, like i give a fuck. (MB: Come on)

Jorma:
Ladies shifty eyed, when we walk into the set.
Fuck the fellas looking jealous, play the back and get wet (MB: Yeah yeah)
Three pound in my waist, shank in my sock.
You either get cut, get stuffed or get shot.

Michael Bolton / Chorus:
This is the tale of Captain Jack Sparrow.
Pirate so brave, on the seven seas. (Andy: What?)
A mystical quest to the isle of Tortuga
Raven locks sway.
On the ocean's breeze.

Akiva / Verse 2
Yeah, that was kinda weird, but we're back in the club.
Buying up the bar, so the groupies show us love (MB: Kiera Knightly)
Motherfucking iceman, I'm the top gunner.
Heater on blast, I'm the number one stunner (MB: Jack Sparrow)

Andy:
Watch it girl, cause I ain't your "Mr. nice guy",
More like the "Meet ya, take you home and fuck you twice guy." (MB: Yeah yeah!)
All dressed up, with nowhere to run.
And now I make you feel crazy with...

Michael B / Bridge:
Now back to the good part!

Chorus:
From the day he was born, he yearned for adventure. (Andy: No!)
Oh, Captain Jack!
Givin' them what for!
He's the pauper of the surf.
The Jester of Tortuga (Oh god)
From Davy Jones' locker, what lies in store? (Akiva: Yeah, we've seen the movie)

Andy:
Throw your hands in the air, and say hell yeah. C'mon (MB: Captain Jack)
What? (MB: Johnny Depp)
No!

Jorma:
From the front to the back, say we count stacks, C'mon (MB: Davy Jones)
Nope. (MB: Giant Squid)
Wrong.

Akiva:
Michael Bolton, we're really gonna need you to focus up.

Michael Bolton:
Roger that, let me try it with another film.

(Andy: Wait!)

Life is a box of chocolates, and my name is Forrest Gump. (Andy: Not better)
Though I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed,
I give Jenny all of my love. (Andy: Come on!)

Ok then, I'm a legal aide. Erin Brockovich is my name. (TLI: Oh no, oh god.)
Then you can call me Scarface.
Snortin' mountains of cocaine. (Andy: Close enough)

You cockroaches wanna play rough? OKAY, I'm reloaded

This is the tale of Tony Montana (This is the tale!)
Cubano flame, with the Miami nuts. (Andy: Take it home!)
Got a basehead wife,
But her womb is polluted
This whole town's a pussy, just waiting to get fucked! (Just waitin' to get fucked!)

Andy:
Okay, turns out Michael Bolton is a major cinephile (MB: You complete me!)
Yup, yeah, okay.