"You just do whatever" The words out of you Like a drunk leaving a bar looking for a fresh new call You not a man of words But did your best to advice You me "You can't just do whatever" And I what you meant You meant that whatever I choose to do, I not be aimless I not simply spin this globe and go wherever I stick my finger Because 71% of the time I end up in the ocean And if I do end up in the ocean I just do whatever, learn to swim
"You just do whatever"
The conversation after you asked me about heaven Told me that you thought heaven would be specific to each And each person would have their own version of it Then asked me what mine be
I was so to tell you, "I don't one" But you your head, as if confirming a suspicion school had me of a belief in some stories You "you don't have to beleive what I believe, its enough to be good. Be good" I will. I will about your heaven heaven would be the same haircut, forever It would be a stick a dog and some A that always needs mowing A six-pack of pills in short bottles and your real teeth back Because your dentures could never master that bottle trick you loved to do The first time you tried it with dentures I had for a month Because I though your had fallen off Your heaven, would be Austria the war And after you met grandma It would be head cheese sandwiches and sausages Other deli that would ensure you would never ever have to entertain dinner guests And I would never be in of having my lunch stolen heaven, would be a of raisins Problems that you could fix your hands I remember you tried to fix with your hands I remember the days I the bandages They looked like blankets, as if your knuckles had all gone off to bed Walls that looked like said something to get under your skin And suddenly made to pay for it I know you were an man Finger like spent shotgun shells, bleeding smoke cocktails of gunpowder and singed plastic You had some people would call, "a temper" But you loved a joke, if it was on you Something that would crack open the walls of chest and let the wind tickle your heart Just to let you know it was still there You didn't always laugh, always smile You did keep a ledger of what you called your "send flowers list" I remember thinking it was a thank you to who got you good But learned the truth after my grandmother added a thin of sand to your sandwiches Because you to make your own lunch for work You told me about it when you picked me up from school day You said "Grandma just the send flowers list" And I asked "Because you her so much?" And you "Because I'm gonna kill her" Of you didn't Your version of meant two months before winter, Having a take in each of her coats a few inches So on the day she need one She fumbled with the sudden And you stood smiling then said "Honey, I love you no matter how big you get" She did not And managed to staple your smile into a straight face When she told all of your friends at work that you had to move into the spare you couldn't stop farting at night You often me "If I had a heaven, what would it be like?" And I told you that for such a small word, if, is too big to wrap my belief around I not bend to the hypothetical But now that I would've Even if it was just to ease your in the belief That I be headed to that other place you believed in I would tell you now how my is here It was here, in the gentle warfare of your relationship with Where volleys were traded back and hockey cards between children who didn't care what the stats meant My heaven would have been someone in grade finally willing to trade me their fruit roll up For my tin of My hell was wondering "why?" Why would you me sardines for lunch My heaven make you laugh Cause I get the feeling you didn't get to do that very Through my hell, the night terrors and bloody noses Through the eyes black, bruised back, sneak attack, nap sack and winter hijacks You did best to seal up the cracks in my armour and made my heaven here I have loved to have made you laugh more To your send flowers list just once So I you now my if If there is a Mine would have a office And I could letters to yours The first would read "Hell's not so bad, they much let you do whatever"