Black Umbrellas

I can't believe I'll never see you again.
I only wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye.
There will be more than a few short moments
Where this tears at the space beneath my ribs.
I don't think I can shoulder the weight of your absence.

I don't want to face a day without your light.
But that's not a luxury I can afford.
Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise
Without you
I was never fully ready to wake up in a world
Where you were gone.

I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be
When I got older.
You were so selfless,
That even now I can feel you
Urging me not to dwell
On your passing,

You'd tell me just to pretend
That you decided to move away.
But I can't lie to myself.
Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise
Without you
I was never fully ready to wake up in a world

Where you were gone.
I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be
When I got older.
I'm seeing death more and more in my life everyday
Like the guy who shot himself right across the
street from where I live

And I'm can't get a grip on why bad things happen to the best people
But maybe that's why I have beliefs
So I can trust things happen for a reason
Life's not as bad as it seems just overwhelming
In the end everything's gonna be okay
I can't believe I'll never see you again.
I only wish I'd had a chance to say goodbye.
Though I'm sure I knew the sun would rise
Without you
I was never fully ready to wake up in a world
Where you were gone.
I based so much of myself on the person you wanted me to be
When I got older