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Bigger, longer, & original script
(only until movie scene now)
[Stan:] There's a bunch of birds in the sky, and some deer just went running by, oh the snow's pure and white on the Earth rich and brown! Just another Sunday morning in my quiet mountain town!!! The sun is shining and the grass is green, under the three feet of snow, I mean. is the day when it's hard to wear a frown! All the happy people stop to say hello!
Get out of my way!
[Stan:] Even though the temperature is low, it's a perfect Sunday morning in my quiet, mountain town!
[Stan's mom:] Well, morning, Stan!
[Stan:] Mom! Can I have eight to see a movie?
[Stan's A movie?
[Stan:] Yeah! It's gonna be the movie ever! It's a foreign film from Canada!
[Stan's mom:] Alright, here you go, but be for supper!
Thanks mom!
[Stan's mom:] Oh what a picture perfect child, just like Jesus he's and mild, and he'd wear a smile while he wore a thorny crown! What an angel with a heart so sweat and sure, a mind so open and pure. Thank god we live in this quiet, redneck mountain town!
[Stan:] (Knocks on door) Dude, up! Kenny! Come on!
Coming!
[Stan:] Kenny! The Terrance and movie is out! Wanna come?
[Kenny:] Of course I to come, let's go!
[Kenny's mom:] Where do you think goin'?
[Kenny:] Goin' to go see the Terrance and movie!
mom:] You can't! You have to go to church!
[Kenny:] But mom, I want to see this movie!
[Kenny's Fine! You go ahead and miss church! But when you die and go to hell, you can answer to Satan!
OK!
[Stan:] You see breath hangin' in the air, you see homeless people but you just don't care, it's a sea of smiles in which we'd be glad to drown!
[Kenny:] Don't ya know our little town is to seeee, and it really is important to meeee!
[Stan:] That's right! It's Sunday in our quiet, little, white bred, redneck mountain town!

Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh!
[Kyle:] Ike, Kick the baby!
[Ike:] kick the baby!
Kick the baby! (Kicks Ike through window)
[Sheila:] Ike! You another window! That's a bad baby! Bad baby!
[Stan:] Kyle! We're going to the Terrance and movie!
(Shows movie ad)
Oh my god, dude!
[Sheila:] Kyle, are you going?!
uhh... we're going ice-skating!
[Sheila:] Well, your little brother out with you!
[Kyle:] aw mom, he's not even my real brother! adopted!
Do as I say Kyle!
OK, OK, I'm sorry!
[Sheila:] Look at those Frail and Fragile boys, it really gets me down! The world is such a rotten place, and city life is a complete disgrace! That's why I moved to this redneck meshugannah, mountain toooown!!!!!
(Ike through window)
Ike! Bad baby! (Ike: Bah-buh-buh!)
[TV ad:] This program was to you by snacky snoodle; the fun of smores in a delightful cookie crunch.
(Ding-dong!)
Mom!! Somebody's at the door!
[Ms. Coming hon!
[Eric:] Hey! see the TV!
[TV Reporter:] It's six weeks since Saddam Hessian was killed by a pack of wild boars and the world is still glad to be rid of him.
[Ms. Cartman:] Oh look Eric! It's your little
Fireman!
[Eric:] What're you guys here?
(shows ad)
[Eric:] Oh, dude! YES, YES!!!
[All kids:] Off to the movies we shall go, where we learn everything that we know, because the movies teach us what our parents don't have time to say! And this movie's gonna make our lives complete! 'Cause Terrance and Philips are sweet! (Eric: Super Sweet!) Thank god we live in this quiet, little, redneck, po-dunk white-trash(Kenny: Kick ass!) U.S.AAAAAAAAAAA!!!! (Stan: Can I have five tickets to Terrance and Philips; Asses of Fire, please?)
NO!
[Kyle:] do you mean no?
[Clerk:] and Philip; Asses of Fire has been rated R from the Motion Picture Association of America; you have to be accompanied by a parent or guardian.
But why?
[Clerk:] Because movie has naughty language! Next please...
(Six-graders come and get from clerk)
[Stan:] Th-This be happening!
[Kyle:] We to see this movie, dude...
Ah, screw it, it probably isn't all that good anyway.
[Kyle:] Cartman, what are you talking about? You Terrance and Philip!
Yeah, but the animation is all crappy.
[Stan:] Wait, got an idea!

[Homeless man:] uh...hi. I want six tickets to of Fire.
This movie might not be appropriate for your young ones.
[Homeless man] Hey, he says this isn't appropriate for you.
[Stan:] Look Mr. Homeless guy, if you don't want to buy us tickets, and not get your ten bucks, and not go buy yourself a bottle of Vodka, be my guest.
[Homeless Six tickets, please...
(ding)

[Kyle:] Let me have candy, Cartman.
Oh let's see, uh... nope, I don't have any Jewish candy.
[Kyle:] Like you really need all Chocolate, fat boy!
Buh-Buh-Buh-Buh!
[Stan:] Shh! The starting!
( Starts)
Hooray!
[Philip:] Say, Terrance... What did the Spanish priest say to the Uranium
[Terrance:] I don't know, Philip,
( Philip in Terrance's face)
( laugh)
{Stan:] Where do the come up this stuff?
[Terrance:] such a pig fuckah, Philip!
What did he say?
[Philip:] Terrance, why did you me a pig fuckah?
[Terrance:] Oh, well, let's see... first of all, you pigs!
Oh yeah!
( laugh)
[Terrance:] Yeah my ass and call me a bitch!
Oh you shit faced cockmaster!
[Eric:] Shit cockmaster...!
[Terrance:] Listen, you shit-eater!
[Kyle:] shit-eater...
[Ike:] sheed-eatah!
You'd fuck your uncle!
[Philip:] fuck your uncle!
[Terrance:] Shut your fucking uncle fucka you're a cock sucking ass licking uncle fucka you're an uncle fucka, yes it's true nobody fucks uncles quite like you!
[Phillip:] Shut your fucking face fucka you're the one that fucked your uncle, uncle fucka you don't eat or sleep or mow the lawn, you just fuck your uncle all day long!
noises]
Hmm!
[farting

[farting
[Mounty:] going on here?
[Farting
What garbage!
[Man:] Well, do you expect? They're Canadian.
OOOoooooooooooooh
Fucker fucker fucka uncle fucka fucka fucka fucka
[T & P:] Shut your fucking uncle fucka
[Terrance:] fucka
[Terrance:] You're a boner bastard uncle fucka
[Phillip:] an uncle fucka I must say
[Terrance:] Well you your uncle yesterday
(laughing)]
[People:] fucka... that's
[Everyone:] U-N-C-L-E you Uncle
tonight...
[Phillip:] my balls!

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