1] She was on her way to a college graduate Wouldn't stop to talk to the average kid The type of latina I'd sit and contemplate with Fuck the horse and shit, her love was never for hire Disciplined, beauty's what I desire than Salma Hayek or Jennifer Lopez Everyone me, kickin' it to her was hopeless At first I just thought, she mess with broke kids The thug niggaz always about, how they smoke kids But the rich-sniff-coke kids got no "I'm not even interested" is her body language would say Everyone around the way, up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good your was, she wasn't with it All the block was jealous, but wouldn't admit it Talk shit, and to everyone that they did it 'Cause they regreted the long list of niggaz they let hit it And no one ever gave them shit except McDonald's and Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, whenever lit it She spoke intelligently and they bit it, trying to copy But when they to use her vocab, they sounded sloppy She had a style, all her own, respectful and I was sick in the head for her, and wasn't a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, waits for no man And our fate, all planned I'm blessed just to you To have loved and have lost, just to you all night find, a reason why God came, you and I If I had the again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are and beautiful, yet empty and sad I used to to her occasionally, and she was glad That I wasn't another nigga trying to get in it So every now and then stop and talk for a minute I didn't have a gimmick so the minutes turned to On her birthday, I gave her a poem flowers Then I took her out to after her cousin's baby shower We talked about, power to the and such We spent more time together but it was never I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a I was too interested, in keeping it Perfectly honest and complete, she would always me "carino," And Technique, bought me a new book to read every 2 or 3 weeks changing the expression of my thoughts when I speak It was because of her, I even deaded all of my She convinced me, to stop out on the streets To robbin' and stealin', from people like you Instead I took her out to the Apollo and the Zoo, Museo del and the Metropolitan too Got to the point I was either with her or my crew So I one day, to tell her my feelings was true I live without her so I told her, facing my fears But honey's only response, was a face of tears She only sob hysterically, holding me tight I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left I felt like a moth who got too close to the light Except I didn't burn, I turned cold after that
3] I went on with my life, and my career up locked up like an animal for a year Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the Then I got sent to the hole, when my was near At night in my cell, I'd my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but when I woke she Just an empty cell the state gave me parole In the summer, back, in tact and on track But the fact of the matter, is I still felt Even after my mother, hugged me, at home My real would catch me thinkin', out of my zone Fuckin' lots of different women, but I still alone well-known around the New York underground But I thinking of her and how we used to be down The of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair Though gone physically, somehow it was still I had to do something, the shit was too much to bear So I and visited the building where she used to live The world looks a lot different you do a bid way of life done changed While primitive minds are still stuck in the same her cousin who was on the corner slangin' cocaine Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her name Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a oughta But her facial expression changed, when I asked about her
4] She me that there was a note for me, that was left behind She had left it waiting, for such a long time I was inclined to ask it but she brought it up first I saw a tear up in her eye, and then she cursed She told me where the letter was and I started the worst my position, stepped over and opened the door And sure enough was an envelope with my name on the floor "Nobody you more than me carino" is what the letter said
"By the time you get to this, I'll probably be dead But when you left in '97 a part of me went to I thank God at least I got to what love really was But it hurt me, to see what true love really 'Cause even though we never love, you were all that there was It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you You me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe And I slipped up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be openly when people to me This was not the way I my life was supposed to be Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that me with HIV Hope didn't for me since late in 1993 I died a virgin, I wish I could've myself to you I cried in the because there was no one else but you Promise that you'll meet me in inevitably No matter what, I'll your love forever with me"
happened for the rest of the day is still a blur But I wishing that I was dead, instead of her She was buried on 3rd The story ends without a And now you know why Technique, don't fucking in love with people Hold the person that you closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that simply has sex you Appreciate them to the extent, and then beyond 'Cause you never really what you got, until it's gone