1] She was on her way to becoming a college Wouldn't even to talk to the average kid The type of latina I'd sit and contemplate with Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for Disciplined, intellectual beauty's what I Flyer than Salma Hayek or Lopez Everyone me, kickin' it to her was hopeless At first I just thought, she didn't mess broke kids The thug niggaz talking about, how they smoke kids But the kids got no play "I'm not even interested" is what her body would say Everyone the way, gave up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good your was, she wasn't with it All the block bitches was jealous, but wouldn't it shit, and deny to everyone that they did it 'Cause they regreted the list of niggaz that they let hit it And no one ever gave shit except McDonald's and did-dick Smoking weed with thoughts of envy, whenever lit it She spoke intelligently and they bit it, always to copy But when they tried to use her vocab, sounded sloppy She had a style, all her own, and pure I was in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, waits for no man And our fate, all planned I'm just to know you To have loved and have lost, just to hold you all Can't find, a why God came, you and I If I had the chance again, I'd let you go tight to your love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet and sad I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was That I wasn't just another trying to get in it So every now and then we'd stop and talk for a I have a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours On her birthday, I her a poem with flowers Then I took her out to dinner after her baby shower We about, power to the people and such We more time together but it was never enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or cop a feel I was too interested, in keeping it Perfectly honest and complete, she always call me "carino," And Technique, bought me a new book to read every 2 or 3 weeks Forever the expression of my thoughts when I speak It was of her, I even deaded all of my freaks She convinced me, to hangin' out on the streets To stop robbin' and stealin', from people you Instead I took her out to the Apollo and the Zoo, Museo del and the Metropolitan too Got to the point where I was either her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my was true I couldn't live without her so I told her, my fears But only response, was a face full of tears She could only sob hysterically, holding me I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop I left sight I like a moth who got himself too close to the light Except I burn, I turned cold after that night
3] I went on with my life, college and my Ended up locked up like an animal for a Where the C.O.'s to you like they were the overseer Then I got sent to the hole, when my was near At in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but I woke she disappeared Just an empty cell until the state me parole In the summer, came back, in and on track But the of the matter, is I still felt cold Even after my mother, hugged me, at home My niggaz would catch me thinkin', out of my zone Fuckin' lots of women, but I still felt alone Relatively well-known the New York underground But I kept thinking of her and how we to be down The sound of her voice, and the smell of her hair Though physically, somehow it was still there I had to do something, because the was too much to bear So I went and visited the building where she used to The world looks a lot after you do a bid Your way of life done While primitive minds are still stuck in the same Like her cousin who was on the corner cocaine Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button to her last name Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a oughta But her facial expression changed, when I asked her daughter
4] She told me that there was a for me, that was left behind She had it there waiting, for such a long time I was to ask about it but she brought it up first I saw a swelling up in her eye, and then she cursed She told me where the letter was and I started thinking the Reversed my position, stepped and opened the door And enough there was an envelope with my name on the floor "Nobody loves you more than me carino" is the letter said
"By the time you get to read this, I'll probably be But you left in '97 a part of me went to Heaven I thank God at least I got to know what really was But it hurt me, to see what true love does 'Cause even though we made love, you were all that there was It was because I loved you so much that I had to you leave You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to And I slipped up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be openly when people to me This was not the way I thought my was supposed to be Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion left me with HIV Hope didn't exist for me late in 1993 I died a virgin, I wish I given myself to you I in the hospital because there was no one else but you that you'll meet me in paradise inevitably No matter what, I'll keep love forever with me"
What happened for the rest of the day is a blur But I remember that I was dead, instead of her She was on August 3rd The story without a sequel And now you know why Technique, don't fucking fall in with people Hold the person that you love if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that has sex with you Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then you never really know what you got, until it's gone