1] She was on her way to becoming a college even stop to talk to the average kid The type of I'd sit and contemplate marriage with Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for Disciplined, intellectual beauty's I desire Flyer than Salma or Jennifer Lopez Everyone told me, it to her was hopeless At first I just thought, she mess with broke kids The niggaz always talking about, how they smoke kids But the rich-sniff-coke got no play "I'm not even interested" is her body language would say Everyone around the way, up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good game was, she wasn't with it All the block bitches was jealous, but wouldn't it Talk shit, and deny to everyone that did it 'Cause they the long list of niggaz that they let hit it And no one ever them shit except McDonald's and did-dick Smoking with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it She spoke intelligently and bit it, always trying to copy But when they tried to use her vocab, they sloppy She had a style, all her own, respectful and I was sick in the for her, and there wasn't a cure
[Hook - Jean Don't you that, time waits for no man And our fate, it's all I'm just to know you To have loved and lost, just to hold you all night find, a reason why God came, you and I If I had the again, I'd never let you go Hold to your love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet and sad I used to talk to her occasionally, and she was I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it So every now and then we'd stop and for a minute I didn't have a gimmick so the turned to hours On her birthday, I gave her a poem with Then I her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower We talked about, to the people and such We more time together but it was never enough I never tried to a touch, or even cop a feel I was too interested, in it real Perfectly honest and complete, she would call me "carino," And never Technique, bought me a new book to read 2 or 3 weeks Forever changing the expression of my when I speak It was because of her, I even deaded all of my She convinced me, to stop hangin' out on the To stop and stealin', from people like you I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo, Museo del barrio and the too Got to the point where I was either her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my was true I couldn't live without her so I told her, my fears But honey's only response, was a full of tears She could only sob hysterically, holding me I tried to speak, but she wouldn't until I left sight I felt like a moth who got himself too to the light Except I didn't burn, I turned after that night
3] I went on with my life, college and my Ended up locked up like an animal for a Where the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the Then I got sent to the hole, when my was near At night in my cell, I'd close my and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but when I she disappeared Just an empty cell until the gave me parole In the summer, came back, in and on track But the fact of the matter, is I still cold Even after my mother, hugged me, at home My niggaz would catch me thinkin', out of my zone lots of different women, but I still felt alone Relatively well-known around the New underground But I kept thinking of her and how we used to be The of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair gone physically, somehow it was still there I had to do something, the shit was too much to bear So I went and visited the building she used to live The world a lot different after you do a bid Your way of life changed While primitive minds are still stuck in the same Like her cousin who was on the corner cocaine Stepped in the lobby and tapped the button next to her name Her mom me up and hugged me up, like a mother oughta But her facial expression changed, I asked about her daughter
4] She me that there was a note for me, that was left behind She had left it there waiting, for such a long I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and then she She told me where the letter was and I thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped and opened the door And sure enough was an envelope with my name on the floor "Nobody loves you than me carino" is what the letter said
"By the time you get to read this, I'll be dead But when you left in '97 a part of me to Heaven I God at least I got to know what love really was But it hurt me, to see what true love really 'Cause even we never made love, you were all that there was It was because I loved you so much that I had to make you You me doubt the way I thought, you made me want to believe And I slipped up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be openly people spoke to me This was not the way I thought my was supposed to be Baby don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me HIV Hope didn't exist for me late in 1993 I died a virgin, I wish I could've myself to you I in the hospital because there was no one else but you Promise that you'll meet me in inevitably No matter what, I'll keep love forever with me"
happened for the rest of the day is still a blur But I remember wishing I was dead, instead of her She was buried on 3rd The ends without a sequel And now you why Technique, don't fucking fall in love with people Hold the that you love closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that simply has sex you Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and then 'Cause you never really know what you got, until gone