1] She was on her way to a college graduate Wouldn't stop to talk to the average kid The type of latina I'd sit and marriage with Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her was never for hire Disciplined, intellectual beauty's I desire Flyer than Hayek or Jennifer Lopez told me, kickin' it to her was hopeless At I just thought, she didn't mess with broke kids The thug always talking about, how they smoke kids But the kids got no play "I'm not even interested" is her body language would say Everyone around the way, up trying to get in it It didn't matter how good your was, she wasn't with it All the block was jealous, but wouldn't admit it Talk shit, and deny to that they did it 'Cause they regreted the long list of that they let hit it And no one ever gave them shit McDonald's and did-dick Smoking weed thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it She intelligently and they bit it, always trying to copy But when they tried to use her vocab, they sounded She had a style, all her own, and pure I was sick in the head for her, and there a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, time for no man And our fate, it's all I'm blessed to know you To have loved and have lost, just to you all night Can't find, a why God came, you and I If I had the chance again, I'd let you go Hold to your love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are brown and beautiful, yet and sad I to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad I wasn't just another nigga trying to get in it So every now and then we'd stop and for a minute I have a gimmick so the minutes turned to hours On her birthday, I gave her a with flowers Then I took her out to dinner her cousin's baby shower We talked about, power to the and such We spent more time but it was never enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or even cop a I was too interested, in it real Perfectly and complete, she would always call me "carino," And never Technique, bought me a new book to every 2 or 3 weeks Forever changing the expression of my thoughts I speak It was because of her, I even deaded all of my She convinced me, to hangin' out on the streets To stop robbin' and stealin', people like you Instead I took her out to the and the Bronx Zoo, Museo del and the Metropolitan too Got to the point where I was either her or my crew So I decided one day, to tell her my was true I couldn't without her so I told her, facing my fears But only response, was a face full of tears She only sob hysterically, holding me tight I tried to speak, but she wouldn't stop I left sight I felt like a moth who got too close to the light I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night
3] I went on with my life, and my career Ended up locked up like an animal for a the C.O.'s talk to you like they were the overseer Then I got sent to the hole, my exit was near At in my cell, I'd close my eyes and I'd see her Hold her close in my dreams, but I woke she disappeared Just an empty until the state gave me parole In the summer, came back, in tact and on But the fact of the matter, is I still cold Even after my mother, hugged me, cryin' at My real niggaz catch me thinkin', out of my zone Fuckin' of different women, but I still felt alone Relatively around the New York underground But I kept of her and how we used to be down The sound of her voice, and the beautiful of her hair gone physically, somehow it was still there I had to do something, because the was too much to bear So I went and visited the building where she to live The world a lot different after you do a bid Your way of life done While primitive minds are still stuck in the same her cousin who was on the corner slangin' cocaine Stepped in the lobby and the button next to her last name Her mom me up and hugged me up, like a mother oughta But her facial expression changed, when I asked about her
4] She told me that there was a note for me, was left behind She had left it there waiting, for a long time I was inclined to ask it but she brought it up first I saw a tear up in her eye, and then she cursed She told me the letter was and I started thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the And enough there was an envelope with my name on the floor "Nobody loves you more than me carino" is what the said
"By the time you get to read this, I'll be dead But when you in '97 a part of me went to Heaven I God at least I got to know what love really was But it me, to see what true love really does 'Cause even though we never love, you were all that there was It was because I loved you so that I had to make you leave You made me doubt the way I thought, you made me to believe And then I slipped up, and I let you get to me It was hard to not be openly when people to me This was not the way I thought my life was to be don't you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV Hope exist for me since late in 1993 I died a virgin, I I could've given myself to you I cried in the hospital there was no one else but you Promise that meet me in paradise inevitably No matter what, I'll keep your love with me"
What happened for the of the day is still a blur But I remember wishing I was dead, instead of her She was on August 3rd The story ends without a And now you know why Technique, don't fall in love with people Hold the person that you closely if they're next to you The one you love, not the that simply has sex with you them to the fullest extent, and then beyond 'Cause you never really what you got, until it's gone