1] She was on her way to becoming a college Wouldn't even stop to talk to the kid The type of I'd sit and contemplate marriage with Fuck the horse and carriage shit, her love was never for Disciplined, intellectual what I desire Flyer than Salma Hayek or Lopez told me, kickin' it to her was hopeless At first I just thought, she didn't with broke kids The thug niggaz always talking about, how they smoke But the kids got no play "I'm not even interested" is what her body would say around the way, gave up trying to get in it It didn't how good your game was, she wasn't with it All the block bitches was jealous, but wouldn't it Talk shit, and deny to everyone they did it 'Cause they regreted the list of niggaz that they let hit it And no one ever them shit except McDonald's and did-dick weed with thoughts of envy, whenever they lit it She spoke intelligently and they bit it, always trying to But when they tried to use her vocab, they sloppy She had a style, all her own, respectful and I was in the head for her, and there wasn't a cure
- Jean Grae] Don't you know that, time for no man And our fate, it's all I'm blessed just to you To have loved and have lost, just to hold you all Can't find, a why God came, you and I If I had the again, I'd never let you go Hold tight to love, 'cause you never know
2] Her eyes are and beautiful, yet empty and sad I to talk to her occasionally, and she was glad That I wasn't just another trying to get in it So every now and we'd stop and talk for a minute I didn't have a so the minutes turned to hours On her birthday, I her a poem with flowers I took her out to dinner after her cousin's baby shower We talked about, power to the and such We spent more time but it was never enough I never tried to sneak a touch, or cop a feel I was too interested, in it real Perfectly honest and complete, she always call me "carino," And never Technique, bought me a new book to read every 2 or 3 Forever changing the expression of my thoughts I speak It was of her, I even deaded all of my freaks She convinced me, to stop hangin' out on the To stop robbin' and stealin', from people you I took her out to the Apollo and the Bronx Zoo, Museo del barrio and the too Got to the point I was either with her or my crew So I one day, to tell her my feelings was true I couldn't live without her so I told her, facing my But only response, was a face full of tears She could only sob hysterically, me tight I to speak, but she wouldn't stop until I left sight I felt like a moth who got himself too close to the I didn't burn, I turned cold after that night
3] I went on my life, college and my career Ended up up like an animal for a year Where the C.O.'s talk to you they were the overseer Then I got sent to the hole, my exit was near At night in my cell, I'd close my and I'd see her Hold her in my dreams, but when I woke she disappeared Just an empty cell until the state gave me In the summer, back, in tact and on track But the fact of the matter, is I felt cold Even after my mother, hugged me, at home My real niggaz would me thinkin', out of my zone Fuckin' lots of women, but I still felt alone well-known around the New York underground But I thinking of her and how we used to be down The of her voice, and the beautiful smell of her hair Though gone physically, it was still there I had to do something, because the shit was too to bear So I went and visited the building she used to live The looks a lot different after you do a bid Your way of life done While primitive minds are still in the same game Like her who was on the corner slangin' cocaine in the lobby and tapped the button next to her last name Her mom buzzed me up and hugged me up, like a oughta But her facial expression changed, when I asked her daughter
4] She told me that there was a note for me, that was behind She had left it waiting, for such a long time I was inclined to ask about it but she brought it up I saw a tear swelling up in her eye, and she cursed She told me where the letter was and I thinking the worst Reversed my position, stepped over and opened the And sure enough there was an envelope with my on the floor "Nobody loves you more than me carino" is the letter said
"By the you get to read this, I'll probably be dead But when you left in '97 a of me went to Heaven I God at least I got to know what love really was But it me, to see what true love really does 'Cause even though we never love, you were all that there was It was because I you so much that I had to make you leave You made me doubt the way I thought, you me want to believe And I slipped up, and I let you get close to me It was hard to not be openly people spoke to me This was not the way I thought my life was to be Baby you see, I had a blood transfusion that left me with HIV Hope didn't exist for me since late in I died a virgin, I wish I could've myself to you I cried in the hospital because there was no one but you Promise that you'll me in paradise inevitably No matter what, I'll keep your forever with me"
What happened for the rest of the day is still a But I remember wishing I was dead, instead of her She was on August 3rd The story ends without a And now you know why Technique, don't fucking in love with people Hold the person that you love if they're next to you The one you love, not the person that has sex with you Appreciate them to the fullest extent, and beyond 'Cause you really know what you got, until it's gone