Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble here in River City. Why I'm a billiard player, mighty proud I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I consider that the I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you horse sense And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever take and try to An iron-clad to yourself From a three-rail billiard But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a line game, I say that any kin take And shove a in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big on the road To the depths of I say, first, medicinal from a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the next ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And list'nin to some big Jasper him tell about horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set down on the horse! Like to see some stuck-up Sittin' on Dan Make your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that mark the Between a and a bum, a capital "B," And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! And all week long your River be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern away noontime, suppertime, choretime too! Get the in the pocket, Never gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the screen patched or the beefsteak pounded. mind pumpin' any water 'Til your parents are caught with the Cistern On a Saturday and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm thinkin' of the in the knickerbockers, young ones, peekin' in the pool Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right in River City. with a capital "T" And rhymes with "P" and that stands for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the kinda parents. I'm gonna be frank. Would ya like to know what conversation goes On while they're loafin' around Hall? They're out Bevo, tryin' out cubebs, Tryin' out Tailor like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music That'll grab your son and daughter With the arms of a jungle instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! a capital "T" That rhymes "P" And stands for Pool, That for pool. surely got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed warning before it's too late! Watch for the tell-tale of corruption! The minute son leaves the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his finger? A dime novel hidden in the corn Is he starting to memorize from Capt. Billy's Whiz Are certain creeping into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right in River city! With a "T" And that with "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City! Remember the Maine, Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That game with the fifteen numbered is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! rhyme it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!