Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right in River City. Why sure I'm a player, Certainly proud I say I'm mighty proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend a cue in my hand are golden. Help you cultivate horse And a cool and a keen eye. Did ya ever and try to give An iron-clad leave to From a billiard shot? But as I say, It takes judgement, brains, and to score In a line game, I say that any boob kin And a ball in a pocket. And call that sloth. The first big step on the To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, medicinal wine a teaspoon, beer from a bottle. An' the thing ya know, son is playin' for money In a suit. And to some big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set right on the horse! Like to see some jockey'boy Sittin' on Dan Patch? Make your boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me you what I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets mark the diff'rence Between a and a bum, a capital "B," And that rhymes with "P" and stands for pool! And all week your River City be frittern away, I say young men'll be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never mind gittin' pulled Or the door patched or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind pumpin' any 'Til your parents are caught with the empty On a Saturday and that's trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail ones, peekin' in the pool Hall window school, ya got trouble, folks! here in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and that for pool! Now, I know all you folks are the right parents. I'm be perfectly frank. Would ya to know what kinda conversation goes On while they're loafin' around that They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, out Tailor Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And all about How gonna cover up a tell-tale breath with Sen-Sen. One fine night, leave the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, shameless That'll grab your son and your With the arms of a animal instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right here in City! With a "T" That rhymes "P" And stands for Pool, stands for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones moral school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! Heed warning before it's too late! for the tell-tale sign of corruption! The minute your son the house, he rebuckle his knickerbockers below the knee? Is there a stain on his index finger? A dime novel in the corn crib? Is he starting to memorize jokes Capt. Whiz Bang? Are words creeping into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And 'so's old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right here in city! With a "T" And that with "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City! the Maine, Plymouth Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. in terrible, terrible trouble. That with the fifteen numbered balls is a devil's tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta rhyme it "P"! And stands for Pool!!!