Well, ya got trouble, my friend, here, I say, trouble right here in City. Why sure I'm a player, Certainly mighty I say I'm always proud to say it. I consider the hours I spend With a cue in my are golden. you cultivate horse sense And a cool head and a eye. Did ya ever take and try to An leave to yourself From a billiard shot? But as I say, It judgement, brains, and maturity to score In a line game, I say that any kin take And a ball in a pocket. And they call sloth. The first big step on the To the of deg-ra-Day-- I say, first, wine from a teaspoon, Then from a bottle. An' the thing ya know, Your son is playin' for In a suit. And list'nin to big out-a-town Jasper Hearin' him tell horse-race gamblin'. Not a trottin' race, no! But a race where they set right on the horse! Like to see some stuck-up on Dan Patch? Make your blood boil? Well, I say. Friends, let me tell you I mean. You got one, two, three, four, five, six in a table. Pockets that the diff'rence a gentlemen and a bum, With a "B," And that rhymes with "P" and that for pool! And all week long your City be frittern away, I say your men'll be frittern! Frittern away their noontime, suppertime, too! Get the in the pocket, Never gittin' Dandelions pulled Or the screen door or the beefsteak pounded. Never mind any water 'Til parents are caught with the Cistern empty On a Saturday night and trouble, Oh, yes we got lots and a' trouble. I'm of the kids in the knickerbockers, Shirt-tail young ones, peekin' in the Hall after school, ya got trouble, folks! Right in River City. Trouble a capital "T" And that rhymes with "P" and that for pool! Now, I all you folks are the right kinda parents. I'm be perfectly frank. ya like to know what kinda conversation goes On while they're loafin' around Hall? They're tryin' out Bevo, out cubebs, Tryin' out Mades like Cigarette Fiends! And braggin' all How they're gonna cover up a tell-tale breath Sen-Sen. One fine night, they the pool hall, Headin' for the at the Arm'ry! Libertine men and women! And Rag-time, music That'll your son and your daughter With the arms of a jungle instinct! Mass-steria! Friends, the idle brain is the playground!
Trouble, oh we got trouble, Right in River City! a capital "T" That rhymes "P" And that for Pool, That for pool. We've got trouble! Right in River City, here! Gotta out a way To keep the young ones after school! Trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble, trouble...
Mothers of City! that warning before it's too late! Watch for the sign of corruption! The minute your son the house, Does he rebuckle his knickerbockers the knee? Is there a nicotine stain on his index A dime novel in the corn crib? Is he to memorize jokes from Capt. Billy's Bang? Are words creeping into his conversation? like, like 'swell?" And your old man?" Well, if so my friends, Ya got trouble, Right here in city! a capital "T" And rhymes with "P" And that for Pool. We've got trouble! Right here in City! Remember the Maine, Rock and the Golden Rule! Oh, got trouble. We're in terrible, trouble. That game with the fifteen numbered balls is a tool! Oh yes we got trouble, trouble, trouble! With a "T"! Gotta it with "P"! And that for Pool!!!